Folwren, I think you may have misunderstood me a little bit. I wanted the group to do what they wanted and talk or whatever and not have to wait for me to do my post. I don't have a problem with the first part of your post, Incana being awake already and cleaning the fish and saying 'good morning'. What I do have a problem with is this(bolded):
Quote:
Incana said nothing, having the excuse to stay intent on her work. Athwen watched quietly for a moment before asking, ‘Where is everyone else?’
‘The men are gone fishing,’ Incana answered, motioning towards the river with her knife, ‘and Vaenosa is over there with the horses.’
‘Leod is with the other two?’ Athwen asked. Incana nodded, not quite knowing what to say to the look in Athwen’s eyes. Athwen paused a moment, and her eyes rested on the fish. Her stomach turned with uncommon sickness at the sight and she drew back involuntarily. What was it? The sight of the entrails, perhaps. . .but it had never bothered her before. . .before yesterday.
She got up quickly and brushed the stray grasses from her skirt. ‘I’m going to go look for him, I think,’ she said. Incana nodded again.
‘They’re over by the river. A little down stream, I think, but I’m not positive. Haven’t left camp this morning yet and that was only the general direction they went in.’
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Incana is not like this, she would not just nod at a statement, or have a cold one word response. My character wouldn't have a problem looking into Athwen's eyes, in fact she would have noticed something wasn't right with your character that morning. She also would not have let the young girl go away from camp without offering some tea and/or something to eat. Also, Incana would have noticed that Athwen was fiddling with her hair and would have offered to brush it for Athwen before she went down to the river.
If you could change these few things in your post and/or leave them out that would be great. Thanks
