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but are you suggesting Elrond should win father of the year for sending his sons to what was pretty much a suicide mission? I think quite the opposite, what father would do such a thing?
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Firstly, Elrond's sons could have chosen not to go to the Black Gate. They came as messangers to Minas Tirith bringing Elrond's council (which was perfect, by the way), but after that they could've left. They aren't children. They chose to stand with Aragorn, Gandalf, and the other free peoples. Also, I imagine that Elrond had some amount of faith that things would turn out for the best.
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Oh and when she was captured it was Elladan and Elrohir to come to her rescue
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Yes, it was.
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again Elrond let's others do the work for him
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At that point, it was no longer his work to fight and slay. He rightly allowed his sons to go, and focused on doing his part, which was healing his wife when she returned. A fine mess Middle Earth would've been in had Elrond not focused on his healing powers, and so rendered himself unable to stop Frodo's Morgul knife wound from turning him into a wraith.