[Nilpaurion Felagund]

++Sauron, who had the gall to call himself 'Lord of the Rings'

First Age: Given control of an island, lost it to an elf and her lover. Ran away.

Second Age: Put on disguise (ineffective, since he was shunned by some), sold patent rights to tacky rings in an effort to control the minds of the dominant race. Must be the most pathetic world-domination scheme in the history of evil (no offence to Tolkien for writing it that way.)

Oh, and you want a secret? He stole the whole ring idea from my father. (++Nilpaurion Felagund (who is not a legitimate candidate))

Yeah, what he says.