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Old 03-19-2006, 08:45 PM   #504
Farael
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
 
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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I THINK YOU LEFT THE CAPSLOCK ON VALIER!!!! OR MAYBE YOU ARE JUST FAR TOO EXCITED!!!!

Anyway, good post =) just one comment

Quote:
At the moment they turned Brand was out of hiding and gave the net a heavy heave, it landed over the man that shouted with ease
I realized that "the man that shouted" was Osmod, but it's a little bit confusing.... maybe you would like to change it to something else? maybe "the leader of the two" or "the one who seemed to be in the lead".... or even "the man who had shouted before". From how it's written right now, it looks to me as if it said that the net landed over the man that could shout easily.

Other than that, awesome!! and nice to meet you, expect Osmod to be mightly upset.
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