The words of the King.
The moment for the grand unveiling was near at hand. After much positioning and bargaining, he had managed to convince the other racers that his very own Medul-zoom should be the first one to be shown to the expecting crowds.
The beautiful Eowyn was standing next to him, as the sunlight glittered on the golden structures, banners proudly flying and waving on the soft morning breeze…. Now the beautiful Eowyn was glancing at Minas-Taxi that had just been unveiled. Faramir again.
“Better keep an eye out for those two… Faramir might be a good man but I do not trust that Denethor. I’ve never forgiven him for trying to steal my thunder. It was
MY tragic death that everyone should weep for, not some crazy pyromaniac’s” Grumbled Theoden.
The unveiling ceremony was done, and Theoden walked proudly out of his racing-structure to give his speech. Sadly, trade-offs had to be made and his turn to talk was right after Denethor. The old man just couldn’t, he
couldn’t give a normal speech and be over with it, right? No, he had to do his “oh, look at me, I’m in fire, literally” routine. Well fine, He’d show him. He’d show all of them! Theoden King stepped into the slightly scorched podium.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Hobbits, Dwarves and Elves and some re-adjusted to society orcs”
“And Balrogs!!” roared the left
wing of the stands.
“And Balrogs,” continued Theoden. “I am here to claim yet another victory for the proud people of Rohan. Who else but us has the knowledge and experience necessary to travel great distances at fast speeds? We, the care-takers of the Mearas, fathers of all horses, we the Rohirrim shall once again ride to victory!” Mild cheers arose from most of the crowd, while the Rohan fans blew their horns and tried to explain to some dull witted trolls the concept of “the wave”
Theoden went on,
“Arise!!! Arise!!! Riders of Theoden!!!
Harsh quests await: Rivers and Mountains!
Bridges shall be built, shortcuts shall be found,
An insane-day, a racing day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!... erm I mean To the Grey Heavens!!”
With that last scream, the whole centre of the audience that was mostly occupied by Rohirrim and some Rohan-persuaded men from Dunland rose to their feet on a standing ovation. Signs of “Theoden you are my hero” and “Eowyn we love you… sorry Faramir” were common among them, as were cloaks that said “I went to the unveiling ceremony, cheered for my lord Theoden and all I got was this silly cloak”
It seemed Marketing, and lame marketing at that, has its roots on the ancient days of Middle Earth.
Bowing out of the podium and leaving some space for the Witch King of Angmar, Theoden walked again into Medul-zoom and ordered Hama to warm up the
horsengine