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Maeggaladiel · 04-13-2006, 01:17 PM

Rat Attack

"PREPOSTEROUS!!" Sauron bellowed. The windowpanes rattled at the sheer volume. Poor Mouth. His eardrums would never be the same after this trip.

"ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS!" Sauron repeated. "OUR ENGINES CANNOT DIE, MOUTH OF ME! THEY ARE ENGINES OF UNRELENTING EVIL!"

"Be that as it may, my lord, that doesn't change the fact that the engines have stopped," Mouth pointed out. "Listen."

The Dark Lord and Mouth craned their heads downward, listening for the soothing purr of the 250 troll-power engine cranking the gears of the ancient mountain and spewing forth molten lava. No such sound came.

"See, my lord? They have stopped. I think--"

"WAIT, MOUTH!" Sauron slapped a hand over Mouth's... er... mouth. This was unfortunate for Mouth, as Sauron was still wearing his metal gauntlets. "LISTEN!"

Mouth, trying very hard not to scream in pain or drop any teeth on the carpeting, watched as Sauron crept up to the wall. The dark lord knelt and pressed the side of his helmeted head to the wall. He pointed a gauntleted finger.

"SOMETHING IS MAKING SCRATCHY-SCRATCHY NOISES IN THE WALL, MY MOUTH," he said, in what he supposed a whisper would sound like. It was really more of a loud conversational voice, but hey, it was a step down from the usual yelling.

Mouth obediently knelt next to his master and listened.

scritchscracth... scratchy.... *SQUEEK!!* scratch...

"Sou's laeg ra's," Mouth said, trying not to lose any more teeth. "May'he we 'hould go--"

Sauron's fingers formed a fist, and he punched straight through the wall. Plaster chunks, pink insulation, pumice, and drywall flew everywhere. The dark lord fished around for a moment, searching for something. Finally his hand emerged, clutching an iron pipe.

"AHA!" he cackled victoriously. "I HAVE FOUND THE PROBLEM!" He shook the pipe and a terrified rat fell to the ground. Sauon placed his foot on the rat's tail, keeping it from escaping.

"YOU!" he bellowed. "OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE A SPY, SENT BY THE HOBBITS TO KEEP ME FROM STEALING BACK MY RING!"

"Um," Mouth began, but Sauron waved him away. Sauron threatened the rat with a fate worse than death unless the rat revealed the name and whereabouts of its employer, but the creature didn't respond.

"YOU ARE A TOUGH GUY, AY? WELL HOW ABOUT IF I--"

Squeak! Another rat scurried between the dark lord's legs and headed into the kitchen. Sauron and Mouth turned, to see several more rats falling from the broken pipe.

"BLAST!" Sauron cursed. "THEY HAVE US SURROUNDED!"

Mouth leaped up on the passenger's seat as a particularly large rat mistook his boots for some kind of tasty dead animal.

"This is all the Witch King's doing!" he yelled. "I just know it! He's always trying to make me look bad in front of you, my lord!"

"HURRY, MY MOUTH!" Sauron yelled over the squeeking. "WE MUST FIND OUT WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS! TO THE TROLL-ENGINE ROOM!" Yelling out battle cries in the Black Speech, Sauron raced down the stairs to the depths of the mountain, where trolls ran the great engine.

Mouth began to wonder what was worse: the pain in his teeth, the pain in his ears, or Sauron, the pain in the neck.

04-13-2006, 01:17 PM	#46
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	Rat Attack "PREPOSTEROUS!!" Sauron bellowed. The windowpanes rattled at the sheer volume. Poor Mouth. His eardrums would never be the same after this trip. "ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS!" Sauron repeated. "OUR ENGINES CANNOT DIE, MOUTH OF ME! THEY ARE ENGINES OF UNRELENTING EVIL!" "Be that as it may, my lord, that doesn't change the fact that the engines have stopped," Mouth pointed out. "Listen." The Dark Lord and Mouth craned their heads downward, listening for the soothing purr of the 250 troll-power engine cranking the gears of the ancient mountain and spewing forth molten lava. No such sound came. "See, my lord? They have stopped. I think--" "WAIT, MOUTH!" Sauron slapped a hand over Mouth's... er... mouth. This was unfortunate for Mouth, as Sauron was still wearing his metal gauntlets. "LISTEN!" Mouth, trying very hard not to scream in pain or drop any teeth on the carpeting, watched as Sauron crept up to the wall. The dark lord knelt and pressed the side of his helmeted head to the wall. He pointed a gauntleted finger. "SOMETHING IS MAKING SCRATCHY-SCRATCHY NOISES IN THE WALL, MY MOUTH," he said, in what he supposed a whisper would sound like. It was really more of a loud conversational voice, but hey, it was a step down from the usual yelling. Mouth obediently knelt next to his master and listened. scritchscracth... scratchy.... SQUEEK!!* scratch...* "Sou's laeg ra's," Mouth said, trying not to lose any more teeth. "May'he we 'hould go--" Sauron's fingers formed a fist, and he punched straight through the wall. Plaster chunks, pink insulation, pumice, and drywall flew everywhere. The dark lord fished around for a moment, searching for something. Finally his hand emerged, clutching an iron pipe. "AHA!" he cackled victoriously. "I HAVE FOUND THE PROBLEM!" He shook the pipe and a terrified rat fell to the ground. Sauon placed his foot on the rat's tail, keeping it from escaping. "YOU!" he bellowed. "OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE A SPY, SENT BY THE HOBBITS TO KEEP ME FROM STEALING BACK MY RING!" "Um," Mouth began, but Sauron waved him away. Sauron threatened the rat with a fate worse than death unless the rat revealed the name and whereabouts of its employer, but the creature didn't respond. "YOU ARE A TOUGH GUY, AY? WELL HOW ABOUT IF I--" Squeak! Another rat scurried between the dark lord's legs and headed into the kitchen. Sauron and Mouth turned, to see several more rats falling from the broken pipe. "BLAST!" Sauron cursed. "THEY HAVE US SURROUNDED!" Mouth leaped up on the passenger's seat as a particularly large rat mistook his boots for some kind of tasty dead animal. "This is all the Witch King's doing!" he yelled. "I just know it! He's always trying to make me look bad in front of you, my lord!" "HURRY, MY MOUTH!" Sauron yelled over the squeeking. "WE MUST FIND OUT WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS! TO THE TROLL-ENGINE ROOM!" Yelling out battle cries in the Black Speech, Sauron raced down the stairs to the depths of the mountain, where trolls ran the great engine. Mouth began to wonder what was worse: the pain in his teeth, the pain in his ears, or Sauron, the pain in the neck. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.