[Formendacil]

Denethor:

Try as they might, Faramir and Denethor were having virtually no success in coming up with an alternative tire strategy.

"We haven't got enough rubber in the city. I've already said that!" said Faramir. "Not if we melted down ever shoe, rubber band, and rubber duck in the city."

"Don't be silly!" scoffed Denethor. "We couldn't melt down the rubber ducks anyway. The support staff would revolt."

"What about a wooden wheel?" said Faramir. "Like a waggon?"

"It wouldn't give us a decent ride at all," objected Denethor. "No traction either. It'd probably break down in the mountains."

"What about canvas?" said Faramir.

"What, are you going to paint us a tire?"

"No, I meant that we could wrap a wooden wheel in canvas- or any kind of cloth. Pad it down, so to speak."

"That'd really slow us down," said Denethor, shaking his head. "Who knows where the other racers are at? No, we can't afford to be slowed down."

"But we can't replace the wheel with one equally efficient!" said Faramir.

"Well, how else can we move the city?"

"I can't think of a thing," said Faramir. "There's no one or nothing big enough to carry the city."

"What about Balrogs?" interjected Denethor. "They're big and strong- and they certainly were cheering us on at the starting line. I've heard that they can fly, too."

"I'm pretty sure they mean 'fly' in the 'rush' sense," said Faramir. "Besides, where are we going to find a bevy of Balrogs around here?"

"We could summon them."

"I don't think that Balrogs are the answer anyway," said Faramir. "What have we got to offer them?"

"I'd give them Mithrandir if I could lay hands on him!" said Denethor. "I've heard they have a bounty on him."

"Well we don't have Mithrandir and I don't think we're going to be able to get him," said Faramir. "What other options are there?"

"Well, speaking of flying..." Denethor's speech trailed off as he thought. "What could we do to get the city airborne?"

"I don't think it's even possible," said Faramir. "The Fellbeasts are Minas Morgûl-exclusive, the eagles are working for Dwarfy, and good luck trying to get a seven-tiered city off the ground using thrushes and ravens."

"At least we know that old goat Saruman's crebain won't be able to help him," said Denethor. "Say! I've got an idea! How about we ditch the city, and continue the race in the Houses of Healing? They put that thing on wheels too, didn't they?"

"I don't think the Houses of Healing could handle a long distance trip over rough terrain," said Faramir. "I'm also quite sure that we have to have the city, or the majority of it, when we cross the finish line."

"Burn it!" swore Denethor. "So basically what it comes down to is that we have to find ourselves a way to make this city run without a wheel?"

"Not necessarily..." said Faramir. "There is one plan we haven't considered. But I hesitate even to mention it."

"What is that?" Denethor raised an eyebrow.

"We could go after the porcupines and steal back either the spare tire or the stolen wheel," said Faramir in a low voice. "It's dangerous, to be sure, but I'm beginning to think we have no other options."

"Go after the porcupines!" Denethor's eyes were popping out his head. "You must be mad! They'll kill us all! What's more, they know the terrain, and their base is in the northern eaves of Mirkwood- the dread forest!"

"I know, Father," said Faramir, "but Mirkwood isn't really all that different from Ithilien. Black Squirrels, black Kingfishers, poncy Elves... all the big dangers of Mirkwood have moved into Ithilien."

"What about the spiders?" asked Denethor.

"I don't think there are any this far north," said Faramir. "And if they're are... well, I'm not too worried. Elempë's Who's Who in Middle-Earth says that Hobbits are generally more dangerous than them."

"Maybe so," said Denethor, "but still... to fight against the Porcupines themselves! It's practically suicide! We'd have to take almost the entire support staff with us just to have a chance, and I don't mind saying that I don't like the idea of leaving the city virtually abandoned."

"Ioreth and Bergil can watch it," said Faramir confidently. "I've shown them how to work the trebuchets, should they need it."

"Very well..." sighed Denethor. "Call Húrin, Damrod, and Mablung to a council of war. Once we have a plan, have Beregond summon the rest. If we must fight these dreaded Porcupines, let us employ every bit of cunning we possess, so that we might, hopefully survive."