Soon after Roa Aoife departed for the south, the villagers’ discussions were interrupted yet again by a strange sight.
A little, squat, dome-shaped robot rolled into the village square, beeping and booping as it came. It stopped and swiveled its head as if looking over the villagers. Then, with an excited chirp it rolled up to Sleepy Ranger. Suddenly, a shivering, staticy image of a woman in a long flowing white dress appeared. “Help me Sleepy-Wan Rangeobi, you’re my only hope!” she said. “Help me Sleepy-Wan Rangeobi, you’re my only hope!” she said again. And again. And again. And again. Frankly, it got rather tiring, and one villager suggested giving it a smack to see if it could be unstuck. At this suggestion, the little droid squealed indignantly and shut the hologram off.
“I’m sorry, villagers,” Sleepy said, “but I must answer the summons of the Princess. Good luck with your duck problem!”
And with that, he jumped into his hover-mobile (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) and he and the droid departed for parts unknown.
~~~~~~~~~
The villagers decided that day to kill
JennyHallu. Jenny didn’t seem to mind, or at least, couldn’t be bothered to show up and defend herself. So the villagers decided to take death to Jenny, and made the long, arduous trek up the mountain to her hut. They climbed, and climbed, and climbed, and stopped briefly to frolic with mountain goats, then climbed some more. Or did they clumb? At any rate, they arrived at her hut in the evening, brandishing pitchforks and torches.
“Come out come out whatever you are!” cried Mithalwen.
“Oooom. Who’s afraid of the big bad duck?” called Jenny from inside the hut.
“Not me!” declared Not-Cailín. “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”
“We know what you are!” said Mormegil. “Come out and defend yourself!”
“Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin,” laughed Jenny.
Valier bristled. “Imposter, I’m the only one here with hairs on my chinny chin chin!” And with that, she led the assault on Jenny’s door. Being a hut door, it didn’t take long to pitchfork it down, and they found the halfing guru seated in the lotus-position with a serene smile on her face.
She opened one eye and with a knowing smile, said,
“I have two ducks, one blue, one black.
And when the blue duck goes "Quack Quack"
The black duck quickly "Quack Quack"'s back!
So...while the blue duck's a quicker quacker,
The black is a quicker quacker backer!”
“What the....?” said Morm.
“It’s some kind of riddle,” mused Mithalwen.
“Pertaining to ducks,” agreed Not-Cailín.
Valier however was not be distracted, and grabbed Jenny by the sackcloth as she was trying to sneak out the door. “I’ll riddle you!” the dwarven millet-picker cried, and proceeded to
stab her repeatedly with her pitchfork. The others, cheered by the blood that squirted from the guru, joined in and soon they had reduced Jenny to a bloody... feathery... pulp.
“Ha! She was the Wereduck!” declared Mormegil smugly. “And... I’ve got goop on my frock...”
“That’s it?” said not-Cailín. “We’ve won?”
“I think so,” replied Mithalwen. “There lies a dead duck, and there are two dead ducks down in the village, and while the blue duck’s a quicker quacker... blast now I can’t get that rhyme out of my head.”
“Well if we’ve won, why don’t I feel this doom lifting from my stout dwarven shoulders?” wondered Valier.
And lo! a voice from the heavens spoke unto them. It was the voice of the Moddess Goddess, filtering down through the clouds like particles of dirt small enough to get through even the best water filtration system.
“Hark unto me, my lab-ra... I mean, my children,” she said, “for your task is not done. Hark! I just like saying that! Anyway, hark (ha!) unto my words, for on the Second Day, when you awoke to find no dead among you, it was not a joyous morn as you so naïvely thought. For the Nightingale did not prevail the previous Night -- the Ducks took a life but did not squish it like a grubby little bug. Nay -- for this villager was cursed and the Ducks took that life and made it their own. Using dark, ducky arts, they created another of their kind. From that Night forward, the once innocent villager looked like a duck, walked like a duck, and killed like a Wereduck.
Your task is not done, your village is not rid of the pestilence. One Duck still lives.”
~~~~~~~~~
~ The Dead ~
Diamond Took, the
Halfling Poet ~
Villager ~ Pecked to death on
Night 1
Nilpaurion Felagund the
Elven Pigeon-Summoning Ninja ~
Wereduck ~ Waxed on, waxed off on
Day 1
Dancing Spawn of Ungoliant the
Spider Loving Orcish Astronaut ~
Wereduck ~ Stuffed full of spiders and choked to death on
Day 2
Elu Ancalime the
Didgeridoo Dwarf ~
Villager ~ Struck by Mod Fire from above on
Day 2
Lalaith the
Halfling Chubb Fuddler ~
Villager ~ Boiled, mashed, and cooked in a stew on
Night 3
Roa Aoife the
Batwoman ~
Villager ~ Not dead, but rejoined her regiment on
Day 3
Sleepy Ranger the
Exiled Jedi Master ~
Villager ~ Not dead, but departed with a droid on
Day 3
JennyHallu the
Halfling Mountaintop Guru ~
Wereduck ~ Pitchforked to death on
Day 3
~ The Living ~
Anguirel the
Baritone Bird Catcher
Mithalwen the
Elven Saggar Maker's Bottom Knocker
Saucepan Man the
Orcish Scarecrow
Mormegil the
Elven Idleman
Valier the
Dwarven Millet Spray Picker
Nogrod the
Dwarven Personal Fitness Instructor
Kath the
Rainbow Catcher
Cailín the
Bird-portraitist
Glirdan the
Entish Tree Herder
Lote22 the
Elven Igloo Maker