The village was torn between Lote and Kath, both quiet members of the village, and for a while it was anyone’s guess who would die.
“I’m innocent,” Kath maintained, “that elven idleponce is out to get me!”
“I’m not sure...” mused Mithalwen. “But Lote does seem very suspicious. I think we should kill her.”
“Well I don’t think she’s evil, but better her than me,” said Kath. “I am young and sweet and I love rainbows.” She proceeded to frolic in the meadow and catch rainbows to demonstrate her pureness of heart. “Look,” she said, pointing at a rainbow in the sky, “seven colors. The world is diminishing.”
“That’s deep,” said The Saucepan Man. “She must be innocent! I’m with Mith, we should kill Lote instead.”
“Yeah, right,” Morm scoffed. “Don’t let that innocent, rainbow loving girl exterior fool you, she’s the beast!”
Not-Cailín nodded. “I think he’s right. Kill Kath!”
“Oh, this is not good for my health,” said Nogrod. “I simply can’t decide. Ummmm....”
“La de da de dah, I love butterflies!” sang Kath.
“Clearly she’s evil,” Morm shook his head in exasperation.
“And wildflowers, and puppies, and babbling brooks! Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that melt on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favorite things!”
“Okay, that’s it,” Nogrod decided, “she’s evil.”
“Wait,” said Valier. “I think not. I say we kill Lote.” She lifted her axe and added, “Right. Umm... where is she?”
The villagers went in search of Lote, and found her in her igloo factory, busy making igloos. “Um, Lote,” Mithalwen tapped her on her shoulder. “We’ve come to kill you.”
Lote didn’t even look up. “Not now, I’m busy.”
“Don’t you have anything say for yourself before we off you?” asked the Saucepan Orc.
“You’re standing in my light.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he shuffled out of the way.
“And close the door, you’ll melt my igloos!”
“Oops,” said Kath, and shut the door. “So, shall we?”
“Yes, let’s,” agreed Valier.
They seized Lote, who sputtered angrily about being interrupted, and carried her over to the Ice-O-Matic 2000™. “I have work to do!” she protested, but it was in vain. They put her in the tub of water, clamped down the lid, and set the dial to Deep Freeze. (Other options include Light Chill, A Bit Nippy, Bitterly Cold, and You’ll Freeze Your Gahoonies Off.)
In a moment, the indicator light turned green with a cheery little ding, and they opened the lid. Inside was a perfect block of ice, with a blue Lote encased inside, her mouth frozen open in the eternal ‘O’ of a disgruntled artist.
~~~~~~~~~
~ The Dead ~
Diamond Took, the
Halfling Poet ~
Villager ~ Pecked to death on
Night 1
Nilpaurion Felagund the
Elven Pigeon-Summoning Ninja ~
Wereduck ~ Waxed on, waxed off on
Day 1
Dancing Spawn of Ungoliant the
Spider Loving Orcish Astronaut ~
Wereduck ~ Stuffed full of spiders and choked to death on
Day 2
Elu Ancalime the
Didgeridoo Dwarf ~
Villager ~ Struck by Mod Fire from above on
Day 2
Lalaith the
Halfling Chubb Fuddler ~
Villager ~ Boiled, mashed, and cooked in a stew on
Night 3
Roa Aoife the
Batwoman ~
Villager ~ Not dead, but rejoined her regiment on
Day 3
Sleepy Ranger the
Exiled Jedi Master ~
Villager ~ Not dead, but departed with a droid on
Day 3
JennyHallu the
Halfling Mountaintop Guru ~
Wereduck ~ Pitchforked to death on
Day 3
Anguirel the
Baritone Bird Catcher ~
Hawk ~ Gunned down with an M16 on
Night 4
Glirdan the
Entish Tree Herder ~
Villager ~ Consumed by flames from the Hawk’s cigarette lighter on
Night 4
Lote22 the
Elven Igloo Maker ~
Villager ~ Encased in a block of ice on
Day 4
~ The Living ~
Mithalwen the
Elven Saggar Maker's Bottom Knocker
Saucepan Man the
Orcish Scarecrow
Mormegil the
Elven Idleman
Valier the
Dwarven Millet Spray Picker
Nogrod the
Dwarven Personal Fitness Instructor
Kath the
Rainbow Catcher
Cailín the
Bird-portraitist