Files and Spiders, continued
“Oh, right,” Pippin replied to Merry’s query. “Here, I’ll just click on this Îcon, and we’ll be on the Arda-wide-web.”
Another Porthole appeared. Pippin continued to move the pen, occasionally tapping it. Every so often, he would consult the manual and dictionary, and then return to the Skręen.
“I think I actually have a plan,” said Pippin, his eyes growing large with surprise. The others looked around a bit anxiously. Plans were not Pippin’s strongpoint. “Really,” he added. “Look.” He pulled up a Porthole labeled
Google. “You see, this is a Search Enghîne. It can find anything on the Arda-wide-web! And it uses Spiderbots.”
“Spiders?” exclaimed Sam. “That’s just what we don’t need more of right now!”
“But there are good spiders and bad spiders,” replied Pippin. “The one whose web we’re trapped in right now is a bad one, because it wants to eat us. But with the Spiderbots,
we can tell
them what to do.”
“Well, what can we tell them to do?” asked Frodo.
**********
“Is Sam ready?” asked Pippin. Frodo called up to Sam, who was up in the thrush’s nest. Sam shouted back that he was in position. Pippin turned back to the Skręen. The Google porthole was up. Taking the pen in his hand, he wrote “Bag-Endless-Fuel”, then moved the arrow to the Enter button.
“Quick, Pippin, I think the spider is waking up!” he heard Sam shout from above.
The arrow hovered over the button. Pippin tapped it.
For a moment, it seemed as though nothing had happened. Sam was still shouting about the other spider. “It’s seen us! It’s moving towards us!”
“Come back down, Sam!” cried Frodo. “It’s safer in here!”
Several seconds later, Sam emerged from the hearth. “It’s coming fast, Mr Frodo!” he gasped. The vehicle shook as if it had been hit by something large and, perhaps, fanged. The hobbits waited.
“Look!” shouted Pippin. He was pointing out a window. The others rushed to where he stood and peered out. They could see another spider, and yet it seemed to them that “spider” was hardly a fitting word to describe it. This Googlebot spider was huge. It was wearing a beige Safari Hat (at rather a jaunty angle) and had a utility belt slung around its abdomen. It was scurrying down the web as quickly as it could, towards the hobbits, but was still much farther away than the original spider, which they could now see was fast approaching.
It seemed that the Googlespider could see this too, and it increased its speed. Still, it seemed it would not reach them. The first spider was almost upon them now, and was about to sink its fangs into the side of Bag End.
At the last moment, the Googlespider shot a stream of web behind it, latching onto the main web. It leapt off of the web, swung down, and grabbed a hold of Bag-Endless-Fuel, pulling it way from its sticky prison. On the upswing, it released its hold on the web, and the hobbits fell over as the Googlespider and Bag-Endless-Fuel tumbled through the air. Frodo felt sure they were all about to die. But the Googlespider shot another stream of web out, secured a hold on an overhanging branch, and stopped their descent a few feet above the ground. He then released them and they landed, rather ungracefully, but intact.
The Googlespider took out a map and made a notation on it, marking the location of the Bag-Endless-Fuel. He then rushed off in another direction, presumably having received instructions to seek out the location of some other unlucky web-resident.
“That was rather remarkable,” remarked Bilbo. He turned to the others. “North by Northwest!” he cried.
“Yes, the spider did look rather like Cary Grant, didn’t he?” said Pippin.
Bilbo stared at him. “What are you talking about? Who’s Cary Grant? I was saying, we head
north by northwest! We must press onward! Gandalf keeps reminding me how much he has riding on this.”