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Denethor sees a steward as someone who rules in the place of another, in his case, in place of an absent King. Gandalf reminds him that the proper role of a steward is to serve, not to rule.
Like Gandalf, I am a Steward. Like Gandalf, I was chosen by others on behalf of a super-natural agency to fullfil certain functions. My tasks are to care and to serve. I have responsibilities but no power or authority over others.
Denethor is reminded of this idea of Stewardship. Gandalf, while recognising his great responsibility for Gondor, tries to tell him that he need not take the woes of all the world on his own shoulders and that if he will be a serving steward as well as a Rulling Steward, then other stewards, all those who serve and care for Middle Earth, can help him to carry the load.
In his pride, Denethor will not serve, only rule. He takes the whole load on himself and it's weight crushes him.
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