Frodo: No sir, I'm sorry, but I don't have any spare change.
or
Old man: Mordor is it? Well that's easy! Go up the road about 5 furlongs and at the mushroom shop take a right, follow that for...oh I'd say 3 days and you should be right at the gate.
or
Merry, Pippin, and Sam are playing craps while Frodo tries to conduct business.
Merry: Come on 7-11!