She probably wouldn't have ended up going with Legolas anyway. I got the impression that when she told Elrond she was staying with Aragorn and not going with him he wasn't pleased. She would have left with Elrond not Legolas. Unless Elrond and Legolas also left together, I'm not sure exactly who left when.
When did she get to make the choice which race to be part of? Hadn't she already lived years and years before she met Aragorn? Wouldn't that mean she was already an elf? I agree with the theory that when he died it tore her apart so she died too.
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Here you will dwell, bound to your grief, under the fading trees
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