They eat horses, don’t they?
“Horse eating men!” came the cry from Ted Sandyman who, for want of another character, was stationed in the Thrush’s Nest.
“I know, Ted,” shouted Bilbo. “There are six of them down here.”
“No,” replied Ted. “I mean that there are men who eat horses approaching.”
“How do you know that they eat horses?” asked Frodo.
“Because they are chewing on horse-flesh and brandishing horse heads,” shouted Ted back. “And their standard bears the recipe for a rather fine
Cheval en Croûte avec Jus Piquant.”
“Aha!” declared Bilbo. “It seems that the horse-eating men have sniffed out the man-eating horses.”
“Eh?” said Pippin, confused.
“It’s quite simple, Pip,” explained Merry. “We are beset by horses that eat men, which dietary description includes Hobbits for present purposes. Yet it would appear that these man-eating horses do not sit at the top of the food chain in this strange land. The horses that prey upon men are, in turn, preyed upon by men that eat horses.”
“Oh. Thanks. That’s much clearer,” said Pippin, still confused.
In the meantime, the man-eating horses had lost interest in Sam and were shifting nervously, nostrils flaring and eyes rolling. With a jubilant cry, the horse-eating men burst through the front door and advanced upon the man-eating horses, brandishing spears and pastry cutters. Mass confusion and panic broke out. Two of the man-eating horses were caught by the horse-eating men, while the other three managed to make it to the side door and out onto the plains. The horse-eating men quickly trussed up their captives and set off in hot pursuit of the remaining man-eating horses. It was all over in a flash and Bag-Endless-Fuel was calm once more.
“Well, that was … interesting,” remarked Frodo.
“Indeed, my boy,” replied Bilbo. “But let us not tarry here. It is a silly place. Let us be on our way. I propose that we head
Due North through the pass in the spur of the Ered Luin.”
“I wish that I’d had time to take down that recipe,” remarked Pippin.