It seems as if Eowyn's 'love' for Aragorn is of the same kind. Interestingly this doesn't seem to be the case with her love for Faramir - though it does seem to happen with Faramir for Eowyn - he compares her to a flower (which Aragorn does too - yet with Aragorn it is a flower stricken dead by frost). Her reluctance to accept Faramir's suit seems to imply that this kind of initial 'projection' is the rule for love relationships. She doesn't feel an instantly overwhelming 'love' for him, so its as if she thinks there can be nothing between them.
Yet, as I said, Tolkien is a very detatched observer of the Lovers' characters. He understands the overwhelming effect of this kind of idealisation of the beloved on the lover, yet he never presents the beloved in this light for the reader. Maybe what we are seeing is an expression of the conflict he experienced in himself between hope & pessimism which we are told was his natural state much of the time - or maybe it is his 'ironic' comment on the medieval 'Courtly Love' literature, but I wonder.....
Of course, he experienced the same kind of thing with Edith (she was his Luthien as he put it, yet he must also have realised that she was 'simply' a woman). I suspect that one reason Tolkien speaks to us (& appalls others) is this very acknowledgement of the lover's idealisation of the beloved. Modern authors seem (apart from the writers of Mills & Boon/Barbara Cartland' type 'Romantic' novels) desperate to give us a 'detached', realistic view of their protagonists, to the extent that they deny this kind of idealisation of the beloved on the part of the lover - or if they do show it it is almost always depicted as foolishness or the cause of coming disaster for one or both parties. Tolkien acknowledges the simple reality of this 'idealisation' while at the same time making it clear that it has nothing to do with the reality of who the beloved is.
Now I'm thinking of William's 'Romantic Theology', but that's a whole other tangent...
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