As one candidate said of the other -- "He's as strange as news from Bree."
Or, "The ideas of my esteemed opponent are like balrogs--if they had wings, they might fly, but as we all know, ... " etc
Or, "Build a better bonfire, and my opponent might jump on it."
Or, "Win one for the Gaffer."
Or, "Don't expect the elves to show up and win this one for us. That only happens in the movies."
There's got to be lines about reforging strength and determination, but I think they'd be too terrible to contemplate.