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Damrod · 11-13-2006, 05:02 PM

I saw some of this thread, so I thought I'd try my hand at this, just a little bit. It got addictive though. I'll try posting it.
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Guard: Open the gate! Quick!

The gate opens, revealing a horse, dragging a pincushioned Faramir behind it.

Guard 1: Why was he being dragged? Wouldn't it have been easier to ride?

Guard 2: Aye, that's odd.

Angry Wounded Faramir: That......bloody........horse........

Guard 3: (shocked) Lord Faramir!

Cut to Pelennor, Gothmog is inspecting the orcs.

Gothmog: Lovely day, isn't it?

Orc:Yes, Moggy, Lovely. The White City looks absolutely gorgeous.

Gothmog: Ah, and the helms of the tower guards are shining. They look so gallant!

Orc: Well, your warg seems quite fierce, my lord!

Gothmog: Yes, isn't he! Usually he's wearing something a bit more festive, but that Witch-King fellow said it wouldn't be appropriate.

Orc: I'm not sure I like him. He's always so, well, mean. All doom and gloom. I heard he was a man once too! Er...anyway a lovely day.

Gothmog: Once this war business is over, I think I'll-

Orc 2: Uhh...My lord...the camera, it's-(whispers in Gothmog's ear)

Gothmog: Uhuh, uhuh....this whole time? Oh. Oh dear. Ummm...er, ah,
TAKE NO PRISONERS! WE SHALL FEAST ON MAN-FLESH TONIGHT! YEAH!

(Orcs cheer)

Gothmog:Oh, dear.

Back to the city, Faramir is borne on a stretcher to his father.

Denethor: Faramir!!!

Guard: Oh no, not again. He was mad enough when Boromir died...

Denethor: Say not that he has fallen...

Guard: Well, my lord, this is a shock to everyone in the fair city. He and his comrades were outnumbered a thousandfold by entrenched troops.

Denethor: What idiot ordered this suicide assault!?

(awkward pause)

Denethor:Oh yeah...anyway, got to get to the pyre.

Guard (to companion): He loves his kids a lot more after they're dead.

Guard 2: You know what would make this scene better?

Guard 3: hm?

Guard 2: If we borrowed from that Monty Python sketch, the "I'm not dead yet" one. (chuckles)

Guard 3: No, they already used it.

Guard 2: Oh. How about the "You shall not have died in vain" one?

Guard 3: They used that one too.

Guard 2: Where?

Guard 3: Earlier in the thread.

Guard 2: The what?

Guard 3: Uh...never mind.

11-13-2006, 05:02 PM	#237
Damrod Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 30	I saw some of this thread, so I thought I'd try my hand at this, just a little bit. It got addictive though. I'll try posting it. -~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~--~-~-~ Guard: Open the gate! Quick! The gate opens, revealing a horse, dragging a pincushioned Faramir behind it. Guard 1: Why was he being dragged? Wouldn't it have been easier to ride? Guard 2: Aye, that's odd. Angry Wounded Faramir: That......bloody........horse........ Guard 3: (shocked) Lord Faramir! Cut to Pelennor, Gothmog is inspecting the orcs. Gothmog: Lovely day, isn't it? Orc:Yes, Moggy, Lovely. The White City looks absolutely gorgeous. Gothmog: Ah, and the helms of the tower guards are shining. They look so gallant! Orc: Well, your warg seems quite fierce, my lord! Gothmog: Yes, isn't he! Usually he's wearing something a bit more festive, but that Witch-King fellow said it wouldn't be appropriate. Orc: I'm not sure I like him. He's always so, well, mean. All doom and gloom. I heard he was a man once too! Er...anyway a lovely day. Gothmog: Once this war business is over, I think I'll- Orc 2: Uhh...My lord...the camera, it's-(whispers in Gothmog's ear) Gothmog: Uhuh, uhuh....this whole time? Oh. Oh dear. Ummm...er, ah, TAKE NO PRISONERS! WE SHALL FEAST ON MAN-FLESH TONIGHT! YEAH! (Orcs cheer) Gothmog:Oh, dear. Back to the city, Faramir is borne on a stretcher to his father. Denethor: Faramir!!! Guard: Oh no, not again. He was mad enough when Boromir died... Denethor: Say not that he has fallen... Guard: Well, my lord, this is a shock to everyone in the fair city. He and his comrades were outnumbered a thousandfold by entrenched troops. Denethor: What idiot ordered this suicide assault!? (awkward pause) Denethor:Oh yeah...anyway, got to get to the pyre. Guard (to companion): He loves his kids a lot more after they're dead. Guard 2: You know what would make this scene better? Guard 3: hm? Guard 2: If we borrowed from that Monty Python sketch, the "I'm not dead yet" one. (chuckles) Guard 3: No, they already used it. Guard 2: Oh. How about the "You shall not have died in vain" one? Guard 3: They used that one too. Guard 2: Where? Guard 3: Earlier in the thread. Guard 2: The what? Guard 3: Uh...never mind. __________________ There's going to be a Beowulf movie?