Goodness me. I haven't been on the BD for a few days and suddenly this thread gets busy. Never fear...now that I'm back in my dorm again, I should be on more often...
Durelin, for the most part the post looks fine. I actually had Shae walking away from the two bodies when she was attacked, but I figured she hadn't gotten far, so they should still be very visible- she's just not directly next to them.
I'm just a little confused on this part:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Durelin
Then the one-armed man whirled around and leapt forward the help Shae; it appeared to him that she couldn’t tear away from the slaver’s grip…he would run her through in a moment if he didn’t…
The woman yanked her shirtsleeve from where it had been caught in the golden armour, tearing a small piece of it in the process. She looked a bit flustered, and she was wounded, but she stood steadily.
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In the transition to the next paragraph, was it Shae that killed the other slaver? You didn't seem to mention it, so I'm a bit puzzled...
I'm going to bed right now, but I think I'll try to put up a response sometime tomorrow.
