Reading on in the Shibboleth it is presented that the Valar simply could not decide if remarriage was allowable. The decision came down on the side that it was, but only if Miriel agreed never to take form again as long as the world lasted. This is all framed within Finwe's discovery of another woman and his wish to marry her.
Hmm, an analogy from History may be made with Henry VIII's wish to marry Anne Boleyn after Catherine of Aragon became menopausal and unable to bear him sons; like Catherine, Miriel is expected to fade into the background and allow her husband to take a newer, younger wife. Of course Henry VIII's actions had immense consequences, and so do Finwe's. And that would also mean the Valar are rather like Henry's Protestant advisers. Interesting.
But back to the Shibboleth, there is another dimension. Feanor is presented as very much in the wrong for not accepting the judgement visited on his mother, and it is presented that his refusal to stop greiving and accept his new step-mother and step-brothers is morally wrong. This is quite dodgy.
The dodgiest part though is not that Miriel cannot accept her nature as an Elf and be healed, but that it seems she is at that time incapable of being healed, she is 'as dead'. But not actually dead, and the Valar decide that in order for Finwe to get his new bit of stuff (for that's how Indis seems, someone who secretly lusts after Finwe even when his marriage is happy), she must accept that she will be eternally 'dead' no matter what her thought may be as the years pass. Bit harsh, expecting someone to die so that her husband can remarry! This also makes me think of situations where a wife becomes disabled and her husband may seek to remarry as he cannot cope with it; or even more so, of situations of euthanasia.
Makes you wonder if Galadriel was allowed to have it away with Celebrimbor after she left Celeborn in Middle-earth...
