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The quote from the Letters is telling. That means Tolkien thought of Dior as an Half-Elf.
The quotes from the Lost Tales do not really count for anything here, since at that time Beren Dior's father was an Elf himself, so there was no question of Dior being anything else then an Elf.
The choices for the Half-Elves were granted to them by the Manwë after a long discussion of the council of the Valar after the journey of Eärendil to Valinor. At this time Dior had been killed already. I imaging that he was held in waiting in the Halls of Mandos for that time and that he was granted the choice after that decision by Manwë: Either he could stay in Mandos until the time Namo jugde him fit for a return to incarnated live or he could leave the world for ever. But how can anybody in Middel-Earth be expected to know what choise he made?
Respectfully
Findegil
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