[the guy who be short]

Detectives last night revealed to the media in a shock move that they may have discovered Biff's true identity.

Older Downers may remember Biff, alleged to be Eomer of the Rohirrim's "Keeper". His true nature has been the source of much contentious debate amongst the Downing community, and his relationship with Eomer - Keeper, Servant, Fellow Traveller - never fully resolved. Interest died down after Biff's disappearance from Downs life several months ago.

An informant from the Ministry of Mysteries yesterday revealed that detectives believed Biff to actually be Biffy Clyro. "It's early days yet," he said, "but all the right signs are there. Biffy Clyro is Scottish and like rock, both important aspects of Eomer's personality. In addition, his name is often shorted to Biff, as in the cry 'Mon the Biff' before a performance."

Rumours that Biffy Clyro may actually be several people are so far unsubstantiated.