I don't know, I kind of liked the way they did it in the movie. Again, PJ had to appeal to everyone, and if the Balrog was just a slightly-taller man-sized being, then the audience would be wondering what the heck is there to fear? I seem to recall the description of the Balrog as hulking and huge in the book.
As far as whether or not it could cross the bridge, the book clearly states it had wings. Whether it could fly or not, I don't know. Maybe it's like a penguin or a chicken's wings. Obviously Gandalf would not have stood against it unless there was a need to. ("Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf") If you mean the weight, the dwarves built their bridges to withstand great weight, I'm sure.
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I've always wondered why Gandalf stared down at teh Balrog when it was falling. If he hadn't done that, he wouldn't have been grabbed.
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After the battle at Balin's Tomb, Gandalf had to rest "even if all the orcs of Moria were upon us".
But it's possible that there was a Greater Power again at work. If Gandalf remained his grey old self, I fear the War of the Ring would have gone much worse.
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it could almost certainly not have gone out the exit they escaped through, which was just big enough for someone of human or orc size to pass.
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Um...I beg to differ, if you are referring to the movie.