[The Saucepan Man]

Following the confession of the anarcho-syndicalism commune’s temporary executive officer, it did not take long for the delegates to decide who should be put to death this Day. It would have been quicker, but the delegate of INSTRAW demanded that the confession be transcribed, signed and sealed in triplicate by Mithalwen, ratified by a majority resolution of the general assembly and then witnessed by each delegate present. Five hours later, the documentation was finally complete and the dwindling group of delegates turned to confront Mithalwen.

“Your deluding yourselves if you think this is democracy,” said Mithalwen, as fur began to spread over her body. “What gives any of you the right to deal out death in judgement?”

“But Radagast told us this is what we had to do,” answered mormegil.

“Look, you can’t go round killing people, just because some dodgy geriatric image told you to,” replied Mithalwen, sprouting a fine set of whiskers.

“But you confessed,” pointed out Boromir88.

“No I didn’t,” said Mithalwen, her ears lengthening.

“Ooh, you liar, yes you did!” shrieked Nogrod. “She’s a Wolf! Burn her!”

“But my confession is riddled with procedural irregularities,” explained Mithalwen, dropping to all fours. “For a start, my tenure as executive officer expired earlier toDay and so I lacked authority to confess. Ratification will require a two-thirds majority of every man, woman and child in my commune.”

“Um … perhaps we could send some kind of a messenger to obtain it,” suggested Thinlómien.

“Rubbish!” declared Volo. “I may be from as far as it gets, but even I know that she made that confession in her capacity as a Werewolf, not as temporary executive officer of her commune.”

“He’s got a point,” observed mormegil.

“Aye, and so have I,” added Aganzir, hefting her axe.

“OK then,” said Mithalwen defiantly, as cruel red claws extended from her fingers and toes. “You can’t kill me because that would constitute persecution of an ethnic minority. It would be oppression by the majority.”

“You’re not an ethnic minority! You’re an evil, vicious Werewolf, with nasty, big, pointy teeth,” said The Sixth Wizard, bringing his fingers to his mouth to illustate the point.

“That’s as maybe,” replied Mithalwen, corroborating his observation by baring her nasty, big, pointy teeth. “But I’m still in the minority. And anyway, I’m a member of an endangered species.”

“In that case,” said Thinlómien, “perhaps you would care to show us your protected species order.”

“Shan’t” growled Mithalwen, readying to pounce.

“Oh, I’ve had enough of this,” muttered Volo. “Let’s just kill her.”

“Infamy! Infamy” They’ve all got it in fer me,” howled Mithalwen, as she sprang forwards to meet the mob in mortal combat. But they were prepared and set upon her with intent to dismember the honourable member for the anarcho-syndicalism commune.

“Help! Help! I’m being repressed,” cried Mithalwen, moments before her Wolfish head was forcefully liberated from her body.

"Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv!" it shrieked, as it flew through the air.

“What an eccentric performance,” observed Boromir88.

“…” agreed Gil-Galad.

The dead:

The Saucepan Man - Slaughtered and boiled up in a spicy ghoulash on Night zero.
xyzzy - Got bored of the role-based banter and hung himself quietly on Day 1 (Ordinary Innocent)
Meneltarmacil - Fatally wounded in sooth he was and crawled awaye to find ye deathe in ye woodes on Nighte 1 (Werewolfe)
Rune Son of Bjarne - Hunted and added to his own trophy collection on Night 1 (Ordinary Innocent)
Durelin - Spied on things which should not be seen and got hung for it on Night 1 (Thief)
Kath - Burned at the stake and spurned by her Lord on Day 2 (Priestess of Sauron)
Rikae - Tickled mercilessly and died with a smile on her face on Night 2 (Oridnary Innocent)
Legate of Amon Lanc - Underwent radical optical surgery and lost his life and his foresight on Night 2 (Druid)
Isabellkya - Mometarily caught off guard by a darting fox and set upon by the angry mob on Day 3 (Werewolf)
Shastanis Althreduin - Had the life squeezed from his Half human, half equine form on Night 3 (Oridnary Innocent)
the guy who be short - Consumed and reduced to nothing but bare bones on Night 3 (Ordinary Innocent)
Feanor of the Peredhil - Brutally attacked yet lived long enough to write her bloody epitaph on Night 3 (Ordinary Innocent).
Mithalwen - Went down fighting in a dubious pastiche of British classic comedy and was summarily dismembered by a unanimous motion of the general assembly on Day 4 (Werewolf).

The living:

Mormegil
Aganzir - the Dwarf delegate of a Woodsmen village
Gil-Galad
Volo - the very hairy delegate from as far as it gets
Nogrod - the moody delegate from the Witch-burners' village who is ready and willing to form a theory to suit his feelings whatever the facts ...
Boromir88 - the filibuster delegate from Laketown, whose geography is not that good
The Sixth Wizard
Thinlómien - the Delegate of INSTRAW

That’s Day 4 done. Night 4 beckons for those that have things to do.