This is such an intriguing thread, radagastly!
I'm not the most well-read in Tolkien (only LOTR and the Silm, working on UT), but my first thought was that the love for God, in Tolkien, tests Romantic love and prompts it, sometimes painfully, to grow into it's fullest form or manifest its true strength. While it sometimes seems to be in opposition to Romantic love, it seems that when the lovers are deternined to the point of self-sacrifice, even 'the rules' are bent (never broken) and a solution is found. For example, Elwing following Eärendil ashore; Luthien (and then Arwen) choosing mortality.
Similar, I think, is the .... I don't know if this is quite the right phrase, but the performance of heroic deeds by the men in order to win their ladies honorably; for example. Beren going after the Silmaril when he could have stayed with Luthien in hiding... This reminds me of the choice of Tristan and Iseult to leave their exile in the forest; the choice to 'play by the rules', no matter how dangerous and difficult, rather than take the easy route to be together seems to be a common theme in medieval romances as well as Tolkien; it's an interesting thing because on the one hand, it seems to go against love or imply it is weak, but on the other, to prove it is strong.
I think that maybe religion and society/fathers etc. play a similar role for Tolkien's couples in a sense, by setting up challenges for the couple whereby both their love and honor are tested; however in addition, with the 'religious' themes, like accepting or defying death, there is a sense that, by denying God's will/the nature of things for each other's sake, they couple would ultimately be denying each other and their love, since these are dependant on that same ground (God/universe/reality); so, paradoxically, they must lose each other to remain faithful to each other; themselves, and their love.
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Originally Posted by Lalwende
What does intrigue me is how it always seems to be the woman who compromises  |
Not always. What about Eärendil?