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Morthoron · 07-26-2007, 06:49 PM

Expose #7: In which the Dark Elf bewitches the WitchKing

The Dark Elf: We’ve spent a considerable amount of time searching for that maleficent malefactor of malingering malevolence, the mightiest minion of Mordor, the WitchKing of Angmar, and finally our diligence has paid off. We’ve located the reclusive wraith floating languidly down a river just south of the Ford of Bruinen (which must be the summer vacation hotspot for the Nazgul set). Let’s see if he needs help getting out of the water.

TDE: Good morning, Mr. WitchKing. Can I lend you a hand?

*The WitchKing emerges in silent menace from the river, but becomes muddled in the weedy bracken along the shore, his black cloak soaking wet and his steel crown askew at a rather jaunty angle atop his hooded head *

TDE: Ah, there you go! Did you have a nice swim then? The current is rather brisk on this leg of the river, isn’t it?

The WitchKing: Fool! Do you not know Death when you see it?

TDE: Well, considering you are invisible, I am not certain how to answer that. Any reply I could give would be rather transparent. Heh, transparent…invisible…a joke.

*Dead silence*

TDE: Oooh…tough crowd. But tell me, Mr. WitchKing…errr…may I call you WiKi?

*Dead silence*

TDE: Alright then, WiKi it is! Tell me, WiKi, what brings you up north to these parts? Have you checked out Rivendell? Nice atmosphere…very elvish...

WiKi: Baggins.

TDE: Baggins?

WiKi: Baggins!

TDE: I met a Hobbit named Baggins once. He had this enchanted Ring that could turn you invisible…

WiKi: The Ring! The Ring!

TDE: Oh, you’ve heard of it then? Interesting novelty…great at parties.

WiKi: Baggins!

TDE: Hmmm…you’re not much of a conversationalist are you? Perhaps I should have interviewed the Mouth of Sauron instead. But please, forget about Baggins, I’d like to ask…

WiKi: Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey!

TDE: You’re hunting a Hobbit? Whatever for? In any case, you won’t find any up this way, they’re all in the Shire out west.

WiKi: Shire! Baggins!

TDE: *Sighs* And what exactly will the WitchKing do with this Baggins fellow once he finds him?

WiKi: He shall bear him away to the house of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where his flesh shall be devoured, and his shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.

TDE: Yes…right. Well…seeing that there is not much beneath that robe of yours, I’d say that was a rather hollow threat. Ahem, but see here, WiKi, bullying about little Hobbits is not becoming to one of your evil stature. Someone should try to stop you!

WiKi: Hinder me? Thou fool! No living man may hinder me!

*The WitchKing unsheathes his black Morgul blade and brandishes it menacingly*

TDE: *Backs away slowly* Well… errr…actually, I was referring to Glorfindel or Gandalf, or someone of that ilk. I’m not part of this story, really…I’m a reporter….

WiKi: Fool! This is my hour. Die now and curse in vain.

TDE: The hour? Yes, would you look at the time! I really must be on my way! I appreciate the insightful interview, your…ummm…Wraithfulness. Hey, isn’t that a Baggins over there?

*As the Witchking turns, the Dark Elf sprints away*

WiKi: Come back! Come back! We shall not slay you in turn. To Mordor we shall take you.

TDE: *Shouting as he runs* Thanks for the invitation, WiKi, very hospitable of you -- in an insidiously malign manner – but I must decline the offer. Give me a ring and we’ll do lunch some time. Oh…sorry about the ring reference.

07-26-2007, 06:49 PM	#7
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	Expose #7: In which the Dark Elf bewitches the WitchKing The Dark Elf: We’ve spent a considerable amount of time searching for that maleficent malefactor of malingering malevolence, the mightiest minion of Mordor, the WitchKing of Angmar, and finally our diligence has paid off. We’ve located the reclusive wraith floating languidly down a river just south of the Ford of Bruinen (which must be the summer vacation hotspot for the Nazgul set). Let’s see if he needs help getting out of the water. TDE: Good morning, Mr. WitchKing. Can I lend you a hand? The WitchKing emerges in silent menace from the river, but becomes muddled in the weedy bracken along the shore, his black cloak soaking wet and his steel crown askew at a rather jaunty angle atop his hooded head TDE: Ah, there you go! Did you have a nice swim then? The current is rather brisk on this leg of the river, isn’t it? The WitchKing: Fool! Do you not know Death when you see it? TDE: Well, considering you are invisible, I am not certain how to answer that. Any reply I could give would be rather transparent. Heh, transparent…invisible…a joke. Dead silence TDE: Oooh…tough crowd. But tell me, Mr. WitchKing…errr…may I call you WiKi? Dead silence TDE: Alright then, WiKi it is! Tell me, WiKi, what brings you up north to these parts? Have you checked out Rivendell? Nice atmosphere…very elvish... WiKi: Baggins. TDE: Baggins? WiKi: Baggins! TDE: I met a Hobbit named Baggins once. He had this enchanted Ring that could turn you invisible… WiKi: The Ring! The Ring! TDE: Oh, you’ve heard of it then? Interesting novelty…great at parties. WiKi: Baggins! TDE: Hmmm…you’re not much of a conversationalist are you? Perhaps I should have interviewed the Mouth of Sauron instead. But please, forget about Baggins, I’d like to ask… WiKi: Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey! TDE: You’re hunting a Hobbit? Whatever for? In any case, you won’t find any up this way, they’re all in the Shire out west. WiKi: Shire! Baggins! TDE: Sighs And what exactly will the WitchKing do with this Baggins fellow once he finds him? WiKi: He shall bear him away to the house of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where his flesh shall be devoured, and his shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye. TDE: Yes…right. Well…seeing that there is not much beneath that robe of yours, I’d say that was a rather hollow threat. Ahem, but see here, WiKi, bullying about little Hobbits is not becoming to one of your evil stature. Someone should try to stop you! WiKi: Hinder me? Thou fool! No living man may hinder me! The WitchKing unsheathes his black Morgul blade and brandishes it menacingly TDE: Backs away slowly Well… errr…actually, I was referring to Glorfindel or Gandalf, or someone of that ilk. I’m not part of this story, really…I’m a reporter…. WiKi: Fool! This is my hour. Die now and curse in vain. TDE: The hour? Yes, would you look at the time! I really must be on my way! I appreciate the insightful interview, your…ummm…Wraithfulness. Hey, isn’t that a Baggins over there? As the Witchking turns, the Dark Elf sprints away WiKi: Come back! Come back! We shall not slay you in turn. To Mordor we shall take you. TDE: Shouting as he runs Thanks for the invitation, WiKi, very hospitable of you -- in an insidiously malign manner – but I must decline the offer. Give me a ring and we’ll do lunch some time. Oh…sorry about the ring reference. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.