Melkor never had a word of what happened in the mines of Gondolin.
The Balrog with Bling was killed by a bloodthirsty Elf lord.
The Balrog with Swing slipped on banana peel and broke his skull while walking back to Angband eyes so full of tears he couldn't see a thing.
As for the Balrog who Sings, she didn't see Arda again until after thousands of years when the aliens brought her back and she returned as The King of Rock 'n' Roll.
~*~
”Now, how does this sound?
'Honourable High King Turgon,
there were Balrog spies in the mines. However, we managed to wipe them out, all of them, and the threat has been removed. Respectfully,
your most loyal subjects,
Shastanis Althreduin, Mithalwen and Nerwen'”,
Shasta asked.
”You forgot to add that his daughter is dead”,
Mithalwen said.
”And his grandson too”, said
Nerwen.
”And his son-in-law...”
”And his nephew!”
”And one of his most valiant captains.”
”Err... ladies, are you sure we want to send this letter at all?”
A silence fell.
”What keeps us here anyway?”
Mithalwen asked after a while.
”Nothing, I guess”,
Nerwen said.
”Yea... now that the old
Thinlómion is dead and
Aganwë as good as a zombie we won't get even any pay”,
Shasta agreed.
They packed their things, picked some red mushrooms and departed through the hole in the bathroom roof. Conveniently, there were a few wild eagles around. The Elves caught and tamed them and flew to the sunset.
~*~
Even though the battle in the mines was won, it could but delay the Fall of Gondolin. Maeglin had already betrayed the city before he betrayed the miners.
~*~
As he sailed his starship, little Eärendil was unaware of all the bad things going on. On his third night on the sky he was almost crushed by a flying saucer that came from his home planet. It made him sad. ”Home, home, home”, he wept.
”What is wrong with you?” asked a little white seabird chick who happened to pass by.
”I miss home. I miss mummy and daddy.”
”I know. Space is cold. But I will be your friend, if you wish.”
Eärendil smiled through his tears and asked: ”What is your name?”
~*~
For those interested in further discussions on whether balrogs have blings, swings, kings or anything else, you may want to have a look at the thread that inspired me:
Do balrogs have swings?
PS.
Brinn, I hope you don't mind I used your gorgeous bling pic...
