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Special thanks to Diamond for the second story (I had to trim it a little to fit on the page, I hope you don't mind). *thumbs up*
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I protest! Censorship! Editorial, um, cheating! All the best parts have been left out!
Actually it's fine, and the only thing I object to is the "highest bidder" which should say "the phantom." Ha! The public voice WILL be heard!
Why is this my favorite line?