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Morthoron · 07-20-2008, 09:05 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sirs:

Having read your latest edition, I must say I am replying now with great consternation and concern. I combed each article, thumbed through the advertisements, and rummaged about in the classifieds...and I couldn't really find anything to complain about! I must say this is a first for me, and I am utterly at a loss as to whether or not I shall henceforth purchase your paper. You, sirs, have eliminated my God-given right to complain; therefore, I am mad as Hades, and I am not going to take it anymore!

Too long have responsible government officials tried to make things easier for me, too long has the road been made smooth where once lay potholes, too often have clerks in sales establishments tried to be pleasant. I want my misery! I want to be angry for no apparent reason, and you've taken that away from me! Without being able to criticize, complain and otherwise harbor irrational bitterness, I'll have nothing left but happiness. This is wrong on so many levels, I feel that this must be some sort of sinister plot promulgated by unknown high-placed insiders to make everyone merry. Tra-la-la, tripping through the daisies, peace and love and puppy dog entrails...BAH!

You have just one week to return to your horrid and distorted editorial pieces, terrible grammar and otherwise substandard reporting, or I shall be forced to cancel my subscription.

Sincerely,
Mr. Peevish Whinge-Carp
Old Grumbley Rd, Nagshead

07-20-2008, 09:05 PM	#1049
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Sirs: Having read your latest edition, I must say I am replying now with great consternation and concern. I combed each article, thumbed through the advertisements, and rummaged about in the classifieds...and I couldn't really find anything to complain about! I must say this is a first for me, and I am utterly at a loss as to whether or not I shall henceforth purchase your paper. You, sirs, have eliminated my God-given right to complain; therefore, I am mad as Hades, and I am not going to take it anymore! Too long have responsible government officials tried to make things easier for me, too long has the road been made smooth where once lay potholes, too often have clerks in sales establishments tried to be pleasant. I want my misery! I want to be angry for no apparent reason, and you've taken that away from me! Without being able to criticize, complain and otherwise harbor irrational bitterness, I'll have nothing left but happiness. This is wrong on so many levels, I feel that this must be some sort of sinister plot promulgated by unknown high-placed insiders to make everyone merry. Tra-la-la, tripping through the daisies, peace and love and puppy dog entrails...BAH! You have just one week to return to your horrid and distorted editorial pieces, terrible grammar and otherwise substandard reporting, or I shall be forced to cancel my subscription. Sincerely, Mr. Peevish Whinge-Carp Old Grumbley Rd, Nagshead __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.