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Old 04-29-2009, 03:56 AM   #56
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,127
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
A few further issues I've noticed:

NA-RG-29: Here the revision places alliteration on the last stress of the line, which is not allowed:

Quote:
Though NA-RG-29 {Flinding}[the Noldo] shook him, __ he {felt}knew it not:
We could simply transpose the half-lines:

Quote:
Though NA-RG-29 {Flinding shook him, __} he {felt}knew it not[, __ the Noldo shook him]:
In the Finduilas/Gwindor/Turin section there seems to be a lot of redundancy between the prose and verse passages. The information in lines 2173-2212 of the lay, is partially repeated in the prose paragraph from the Narn that follows (NA-EX-53); and the prose paragraphs that follow are then partially repeated in the lay extract 2213-2260. I’m not entirely sure what to do about this, though.

NA-TI-28: It would be nice to know whether this passage in the ’77 and in CoH is from a Narn text or simply derived from GA. If the latter, then it would be better for us to follow GA and include the detail that Turin refrains from wedding Finduilas because he does not wish to bring his curse upon her. However, UT seems to suggest that the passage in question does derive from the Narn.

NA-TI-29: We miss the statement that Orodreth gives Turin greater honour when he learns his identity, because in our version the material about Turin’s counsels and the adoption of open warfare by the Elves of Nargothrond comes before the material on Finduilas. However, I think it would be advisable to retain the statement. I suppose the simplest thing would be just to do this:

Quote:
NA-TI-29b <Sil77 When it became known to Orodreth that the Mormegil was in truth the son of Húrin Thalion he gave him great honour, and Túrin became mighty among the people of Nargothrond. {But he had no liking for their manner of warfare, of ambush and stealth and secret arrow, and he yearned for brave strokes and battle in the open; and his counsels weighed with the King ever the longer the more.
NA-EX-58: The ‘it’ here has lost its antecedent. We should change it to:

Quote:
NA-EX-58 <Ap Narn {and} Glaurung, desiring to rid Túrin of {its}the aid and protection of the Dragon-helm (since he himself feared it), taunted him, saying that surely Túrin claimed to be his vassal and retainer, since he bore his master's likeness on the crest of his helm.
Something’s mixed up here:
Quote:
And if thou tarry for Finduilas, then never shalt thou see Morwen and never at all shalt thou see} Niënor {thy sister}<CoH again>; and they will curse thee.'
I think it should be:
Quote:
And if thou tarry for Finduilas, then never shalt thou see Morwen {and never at all shalt thou see}[or] Niënor {thy sister}<CoH again>; and they will curse thee.'
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