Quote:
|
how does one get money from studying Tolkienology...??
|
From munster.com
Research department of national marketing and advertisement firm seeks Tolkienologist to identify, collect and analyze pertinent methods to capitalize on Tolkien mania.
Responsibilities include:
Maintaining files/library of information on consumer spending in relation to Tolkien products and individual submarkets; consumer research; monitor and analyze competitor data; assist/prepare operational strategic plan; and prepare feasibility reports. Candidate will be responsible for suggesting ways to lighten expenses by heading development of sub-standard, cheap plastic toys loosely resembling the characters and monsters from New Line Cinema’s recent rendition of
The Lord of the Rings, finding new ways to peddle Tolkien calendars, and inspiring bored and out of work graduate students to write irrelevant research books about Tolkien’s mythology. Occasional field work will involve visiting these bored and out of work graduate students in their New York or San Francisco one room apartments, fan shows (which may require appearing in public dressed as a hobbit), and reclusive, kind of strange, Tolkien artists with crooked and yellowing teeth.
Minimally, applicants should hold a master’s degree in Tolkienology or comparable work experience, be skilled in processing data using SPSS, DBASE or similar software, with SPSS experience preferred,
or be a blond haired, female co-ed with a Russian accent. Fluency in an IBM comparable PC environment is essential. Applicants should also demonstrate strong writing/research skills, strong problem solving ability, organizational skills and be detail-oriented. Fluency in Quenya is a plus. Individual must be strongly motivated and able to work well under overwhelming, unbearable, despotic, and often sadistic supervision. Must be able to learn quickly, or die. Training is primarily on-the-job.
Starting salary 45k/year, employee benefits include medical, dental, 401k, one vacation day a year, and bonus potential.