Was Eowyn a deserter?
Thanks for all the responses!
Lindale:
You first said here that:
I think they love her too much to judge her... and remember that this was a time of war; could they afford to think of such "trivial" things, like her joining them? Would they perhaps be angry when they discover her? Likely, but I think they couldn't spend too much time for that; the most they could have done was send her home with an escort and a terrible sermon.
I think you're wrong; because in the sort of system of government Rohan had monarchs ruled as well as reigned; and matters concerning members of the royal family would be dealt with by the monarch.
Like a person in any position of considerable power, Eowyn's uncle or brother would be making decisions that they would find unpleasant. That would include sitting in judgement on close relatives, such as Eowyn. While there's no doubt that they genuinely loved her, it would still be their duty as monarchs to judge her bad behaviour.
Second, you said that:
Or perhaps, would they have deemed the judgment of making Eowyn regent a bad idea (because girls-can't-follow-orders-the-way-real-men-could)? I like the idea. Remember that it wasn't Theoden's or Eomer's choice to make her regent? It was Hama's suggestion, who thought that the last of the House of Eorl weren't Theoden and Eomer but Eowyn. That'll justify chauvinist thoughts that politics and war aren't really women's cup of tea, and that Eowyn, who already knows "necessary" self-defense (think "The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them"), is meant to stay at home and prepare/keep safe her men's food and bed.
You're wrong in saying that it was Hama's choice to make her regent. Hama suggested her appointment to Theoden, who followed his advice and chose to make her regent. The appointment appeared to be a popular choice, Eowyn being regarded as a woman of ability.
I suggest that the fact of her desertion might rebound on Theoden, or his historical reputation if he died in battle. He was, after all, the one who appointed her as regent; and like any one who appoints unqualified people who turn out badly, would take any blame.
Eonwe:
I agree with your suggestion that had Eowyn survived the battle, she would still be 'looking for death by some other, probably less honourable means'.
Alfirin:
I'd reached the same conclusion as you that by her marriage to Faramir, Eowyn became a Gondorian, and was conveniently outside the influence of the law of Rohan. I agree completely with what you said here:
it gets her out of Rohan while she is still seen as a big war heroine, before the ardor of the people cools and awkward questions like the above get asked. Lucky for her nothing happened in her absense. Imagine the reception she would have gotten if in her absence Rohan really had been attacked (maybe by a large force of Dunlendings off to join Sauron at the battle who saw the King and co. departing and though this too good an opportunity to miss).
There is still the issue, as you and Rumil have said, about what kind of understanding was between Elfhelm and Dernhelm. While there are explanations for why Eowyn's desertion had no legal consequences for her, I'm more surprised that Elfhelm's giving aid and comfort to a deserter appeared to have no such consequences for him. After all, he is the equivalent of a senior officer, of whom much would be expected.
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