Can you imagine the time Aragorn would have trying to gain the kingdom if he had the worry of Arwen's presence on his mind? I can just picture my husband going off to war and me deciding to go as well: everytime something dangerous happened, he would get whip-lash trying to make sure I was safe, and he just one soldier in the fight.
Now if Arwen, the future queen, were going to be present in the war that her future king was to wage (to lead!) for his kingdom, she would be doing much more harm than support. Come on (to those who think her weak), is it not beautiful and awesome anymore for a woman to "stay at home" and be there, safe, to receive her hero after the battle is won?
Don't compare Eowyn to Arwen, they are just not on the same level (elven majesty submitted to human mortality/human royalty rebelling and [excuse my harsh criticism] grasping at roles she was not meant to have).
(Sadly, were I to compare myself to these women, I am more like the one I condemn and wish to be the one I exalt).
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"What if you slept, and what if in your sleep you dreamed, and what if, in your dream, you went to paradise and there plucked a beautiful flower...and what if when you awoke, you held that flower in your hand? Ah, what then?"
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