[Brinniel]

I had a dream where a bunch of BDers were at my house (in Idaho). We were playing a game where we threw a stuffed animal (I think) to each other and whoever dropped it has to sit out. So of course when it gets to me, I drop it. I mutter to Sally, who's next to me, that she'll never have to worry about getting out because I'll end up dropping it every time since I'm not good at these types of games. So I have to sit in my own little square while everyone else wanders off to do their own thing. After awhile, I don't hear anything and freak out worrying that everyone left the house without me, but then I notice all the cars are still parked in the driveway. I discover all the BDers chatting on the patio in the backyard and having a really great time. But I can't partake in the fun because I'm still out and must stay inside.

Not exactly a happy dream, yet it's something that's perfectly applicable to my RL. Ever since not long after Bostonmoot when my semester began, I've been crunched down with schoolwork. I spend long hours at labs (I'm at one now and obviously not being productive), all-nighters writing papers, long days at classes and work...I often don't get home until after 9 or 10. I have a short time to eat, catch up online, finally relax...and then sleep (which I only get 3-4 hours of typically). Needless to say, I have absolutely no time whatsoever to chat with BDers, and barely any to talk with people on Facebook. Meanwhile, everyone else is chatting with everyone, keeping strong connections, particularly those made this winter. I observe, but can't partake. After all these months of barely talking to BDers, I'm afraid I've lost these connections I've made, and at worst, friendships. My own fault for not trying harder, but nevertheless it's frustrating. The good news is that I'll be forever done with school in two and half weeks which means free time again. I only hope it's not too late for these lost connections to be remade.

Wow, I probably just depressed everyone (sorry). Though it's really strange how dreams can reflect your RL conflicts...and I just had to mention that.

Everyone else has so much more interesting BDers dreams. I'm jealous. I usually can't remember mine.