Unsuccessful Hobbit invention #314: The human compass.
Frodo: My sword definitely points north!
Merry: No, mine says north...
Sam: Two norths?! Is it some sort of dark magic at work?
Pippin: But we just came from the north... this is stupid.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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