MERRY'S BENIGHTED BUT VERY SIGHTED SONG (With apologies to Pete Townsend and The Who)
I know I'm a Hobbit, but here's a surprise
I can be downright Elvish cos' there's magic in my eyes
Hobbits see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah
If you think you really know me, then I'm just a lousy son-of-a-Took
You don't know half of this halfling from reading about me in a book
Because the joke's on you
Have a mathom or two
I'll put this junk in a pile
Because all the while
Hobbits see for miles and miles
Hobbits see for miles and miles
Hobbits see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah
The White Tower of Minas Tirith is mine to see on clearer days
You thought that I would need a Palantir to see right through the haze
But you don't believe me
About visual acuity
Then I'll stand on this ridge
And see the Brandywine Bridge
Hobbits see for miles and miles
Hobbits see for miles and miles
Hobbits see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah
__________________
And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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