[Nilpaurion Felagund]

THE DOWNER DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF SMOKE

Barrowdowns, Eriador - The weekly newspaper known as the Downer has ceased publication after 256 issues, triggering a strong reaction among the community of wights.

Said one Oddwen: 'What will I use to clean up after my dog?'

According to the Barrow-wight Himself: 'This is preposterous! I just filed a libel suit against them!'

the phantom was quoted as saying: 'I finally get a rest from that highly fictional account of my life--Ah, blast, it's still there.'

Media personnel from other news groups, heretofore quashed in these parts due to the monopoly of The Downer, have converged at the scene of the disappearance, the printing press owned by one H. the Goomba, esq. Nothing was left of the said place, not even a crater or a brick, save for a note saying: 'Finlandmoot. Be back in three weeks.'

There have been rumours that the Barrowdowns Internal Revenue department has been preparing a tax evasion case against the aforementioned H. the Goomba, and that he has fled after hearing that a summons has been prepared and would be sent today.

According to Thenamir, head of the BIR: 'What tax evasion case? We don't even have a currency here! Unless you count barrels of ale as one.'

Reporters have contacted known citizens of Finland, but so far there has no response. Although a statement has been received from Thinlómien.

'Penguins, after him!'

Our field reporters shall continue this investigation after proper protection against penguins have been provided for. (Agence Felagundion Presse)