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It is that feeling of helplessness that drags my heart down like this.
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That has happened quite a bit to me through the past 2 months or so, for reasons I'm not entirely sure of. I frequently have sleepless nights, but by reading the Silmarillion it gives me an unexplainable feeling of comfort. I could be close to tears but by reading a good Tolkien book it makes me feel like even though it seems as if the world is coming to an end, life moves on and there really IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that a good friend (thanks, Thulorongil!) and Tolkien will always be there is kind of what keeps me going from day to day.
Finwe: I'm so sorry about your cousin. I hope everything works out alright.