Theodred: To me......
ladies. Let me lie here 'til...well, you know.
Bilbo (to Smaug): Oh, you
slag.
Saeros: Can I have your name? Because I've injured myself falling for you.
Thorin:
AZOG.
(Any Dwarf): I am a Dwarf, and I'm
digging a hole.
To your heart.
Athelas:
Aloe you.
Denethor: I want to oil you up and set you on fire.
Mothrandir: *flutters antennae*