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Old 06-11-2013, 02:55 PM   #1963
the phantom
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I had a fantastic dream two nights ago! It was one of those where I was barely asleep (or deeply asleep & just came out quick) and a touch ill and I woke immediately after, thus it is rich in detail, and more than a little odd. Upon waking I scribbled down as much as I could remember (it was slipping from me even as I tried to recall it), and then went back to sleep, grinning at the thought of posting it here.

And here it is:

Aganzir was carrying on, obsessing about beards per usual. I recall her constantly posting links on Facebook to her favorite beard pictures, and everyone was a mix of annoyed and amused.

Two years later (I'm not certain how the time passed) I found myself in Finland, and decided I would visit Maria, as no one had actually seen her for quite some time. She answered the door promptly and was happy to see me, and invited me in to see various fake beards she had ordered online.

After waving a few furry things in my face, she asked what I was doing in Finland. I informed her I was there for a party (no idea what for), and wide-eyed she asked me what the date was. I told her (can't remember specifically, merely that it amounted to two years later than the start of the dream), and suddenly she collapsed to the floor and held her head, saying something along the lines of, "No, no! It can't be!"

In real life I would have no clue what was the matter, but my dream-self was quite insightful, and knew the dilemma she wrestled with. She had for the first time realized that she had been shut up in her house looking at beards for two whole years! In her mind she had two options-
1) Admit that she had absolutely flushed two years of her life.
This truth was too harsh for her to handle, thus she opted for-
2) Convince herself that it was all worth it, and thrust herself deeper into the world of beards.

Some more time passed (perhaps a year?), and I was visiting Maria again. She was showing me all she had accomplished- starting beard-fan websites, beard fan-clubs, starting a beard awards show, etc. In real life I would have found this both unsettling and hilarious, but in my dream I was quite impressed, and proud that she had accomplished so much, especially as she credited much of her efforts to my previous visit.

A bit later (who knows when?) we were in a dressing room preparing for her to speak at some sort of beard awards show where she was receiving an award for her efforts, and I noticed she didn't look too pleased. It turns out she was still haunted by the possibility that she was wasting her life, and she was considering in her speech recommending that all of the avid beard-fans devote themselves to something more serious and not repeat her mistake.

Overcome by pity for my friend (who had started to cry), I embraced her and began making various supportive comments, and she then asked me to promise that I would help her break the hold that beards had on her life. I can't recall precisely what was said, except I remember her stating that "Beards are like a drug to me".

After a bit I notice that her hand has seemingly of its own accord started stroking my beard (which I grew longer in honor of the awards show apparently). I took her hand and moved it away from my beard and told her, "You need to take control!" She suddenly looked up at me, face red and eyes puffy from crying, but smiling insanely, and said, "No, I need to take your beard!"

I called for the bodyguards outside her room (why did she have them?) as I kept her from breaking loose, knowing full well she intended to cut off my head and mount it on the wall. And only now did I notice she had an entire wall full of mounted dwarf heads (you'd think that would've caught my eye sooner).

My last snippet of dream saw her being hauled away, and me thinking how I should have helped her sooner, before she sunk to such depths.

When I woke, I was feeling quite sad for her, but after a few seconds of reflection I realized that in fact the whole thing was quite funny.
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Last edited by the phantom; 06-11-2013 at 03:23 PM.
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