I also do not think the Silmarillion was ever intended to be canon, nor is held to be so by Christopher Tolkien.
To me
The Silmarillion and
The Children of Hurin very generally fulfill Tolkien's intentions as far as 'the book experience' goes, in comparison to the scholarly experience of HME. In this general sense it doesn't matter much who Gil-galad's father is for example [I note however that Gil-galad's parentage is left obscure in
The Children of Hurin tables], although the lack of any framework, even if a brief recounting of who wrote what for instance [if known], would, I think, add a distinct something that is 'lacking' in the current version.
Christopher Tolkien himself noted that he should have attempted some sort of framework, but to me this is quite different from second guessing who Gil-galad's father should have been [he noted he should have left this obscure], or if Orodreth should have been Galadriel's brother or not.
Anyway I think there was at least one revision to the first edition of
The Silmarillion with respect to the numbering of the Numenorean Kings and Queens [emphasis on I think]; and if I recall correctly
The Lord of the Rings itself has been edited in this respect, so now the detail matches in certain editions.
Anyway, yes HME has infiltrated the Silmarillion threads and threads in general.
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What's the solution, then? Everyone can't be an HOME scholar, devoting much time to study of earlier drafts and variants, not to mention various noted and letters produced by J.R.R.T. in his later years.
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Possibly to make certain threads '1977 Silmarillion only', but that's really only a solution to a specific aspect of discussing the Elder Days. Some have not read HME nor want to, but I agree that the 1977 Silmarillion can be used as a 'shared internal canon'.
I mean Christopher Tolkien's version is the only book version to work with and we are not likely to get another -- which, if we did, would probably contain more descisions not everyone would agree with in any case.
Based on what can be found in HME and elsewhere, everyone's personal Silmarillions will possibly be different, and even very different: for example [since someone already brought it up], I can imagine the death of one of Feanor's sons at Losgar being 'internally true', but then again I don't have to produce a one volume Silmarillion for 'everyone's bookshelves' in which that choice has to become a reality on paper, and involves more considerations than simply imagining the 'truth' about Middle-earth.
And if one is Robert Foster for example, I think it makes sense to describe this 'shared' version in any guide [whether he had HME to work with or not].