Very good points WCH, and I've always maintained that this was open to the interpretation you are suggesting.
Still, in Appendix A [Tale of Aragorn and Arwen] Elrond agrees with Aragorn that the choice must 'soon' be laid upon his children, to 'part' with him or with Middle-earth. Elrond answered
'Truly', and
'Soon, as we account it, though many years of Men must still pass.' And Elrond's passing Over Sea seems a rather notable event. Of The Rings Of Power even relates that the last of the Noldor set sail Over Sea
'and latest of all the Keepers of the Three Rings rode to the Sea, and Master Elrond took there the ship that Cirdan had made ready...'
Granted this is possibly contradicted in
The Lord of the Rings somewhat, as it is stated in
Note on the Shire Records that Elrond's sons 'long remained' with some High-elven folk [which I think could still refer to Sindar even if High Elves usually referred to the Noldor] -- in any case this seems like a notable, historic departure. So why not now? The sons have had a long time to choose, and Elrond's 'soon' still seems to refer to a coming day of departure in which technically the sons will be 'parted' from him.
But that all said, it could go either way, yes.
When Tolkien wrote that the end of the sons of Elrond is not told [the letter] he seems to have meant [at the time] that the reader isn't even going to know if they stayed or sailed with Elrond. It is only much later [I think], in the second edition of the 1960s, that he 'told' this much: that they remained when Elrond sailed.
However it seem to be the case that JRRT
intended to tell that much in 1955 too:
Quote:
'For I shall be surprised if the King doesn't bid us to his great house by Lake Evendim. And there will be Elladan and Elrohir too, who still live at Rivendell -- and with them will be Elves.'
The Epilogue, Sauron Defeated
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So there goes my earlier theory that Tolkien, only years after this letter was written [and thus possibly forgotten], had decided to at least let the reader know they had remained after Elrond sailed.