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@William Cloud Hicklin:
Certainly, Thingol personally changed his mind on mind in the wake of the entire Beren-Lúthien episode. But he either failed to notice that there were counselors at his own court that didn't change their mind, or he didn't care to spread his new view among his own people (or he failed at that).
Saeros-Orgol's behavior reflects badly on himself and on Thingol-Melian because at any royal court mocking the foster son of the monarch is also an affront against the monarch itself. By mocking Túrin Saeros clearly also showed publicly that he didn't care all that much about Thingol and his decisions. And trying to kill Túrin - well, that's an even bigger crime.
Well, from Ósanwe-kenta that Eru could directly contact anyone he wished, and nothing could prevent him from doing so. Therefore he could have given Dior (or any other half-elven he wanted to reach) a choice without going through Manwe or Mandos.
In the case of Eärendil-Elwing and their children it is portrayed as if Manwe/Mandos knew of them and Manwe had been previously given the authority to grant them their choice. But whether this was actually so or whether Manwe silently conversed with Eru before he addressed Eärendil and Elwing isn't really clear.
However, if Eärendil-Elwing were so central to the history of Arda and so special as Tolkien suggests in his letter (and there is no reason to doubt that considering that Eärendil definitely is the greatest and most important hero of the entire Silmarillion complex) then it might very well be that their deeds were predetermined by the Music of the Ainur and/or at least visible in the vision Eru later showed the Ainur.
If that was the case then Manwe most likely wouldn't have been able to actively ask for Eru's counsel on the whole thing - but Eru would still have been the one granting Manwe the right and the power to change the fate of Eärendil, Elwing, and their children. This doesn't seem to be a power the Valar routinely possess.
An intervention of Eru would have been even more necessary in the case of Beren and Lúthien because the restoration of Beren's body and Lúthien's permission to leave the confines of the world together with Beren doesn't seem like something the Valar would actually be able to do or influence.
And Dior - well, as I've said above if things had gone differently he might have been with Eärendil on Vingilot, or he might even have fulfilled Eärendil's role. He ended up as the King of Doriath and was killed, but we don't know what would have happened if Turgon had left Gondolin when Tuor first came there.
Eru's original plan might have been that Turgon, Idril, Tuor, Eärendil, Elwing, Nimloth, and Dior show up as emissaries from Beleriand. In that case Manwe might have given all of them a choice (save Turgon, of course).
In Arda Marred we should always consider the possibility that things didn't go as planned. Eventually Eru always triumphs (at least according to the Eldarin propaganda) but the lives of many people still sucked (including those of Orcs, Túrin-Nienor, and so on).
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