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Old 08-18-2023, 05:30 PM   #50
Elvellon
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Join Date: Aug 2023
Location: New Jersey
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Hey everybody. The work here is so much deeper and more impressive than I could have imagined! I hope I'm not intruding by resurrecting a finished thread for a few tiny things I found, but I want to be helpful all the same. I'm new to participating in this project, so apologies if I don't have the procedure quite down yet...

In VT-EX-36b and VT-EX-36.5 there are two instances of "Iluvatar" instead of "Ilúvatar".

Also in VT-EX-36.5, there is "Yavanna Palúrien" where it should be "Yavanna Kementári".

In VT-EX-38 "elves and men" is used. As far as I know, Elves is always capitalized. Lowercase "men" is used sometimes in the Silmarillion, but I would probably capitalize it here.

In VT-LT-06 "Avarthar" should be Avathar.

In VT-LT-14 "labored" should be "laboured" and "humors" should be "humours".

In general VT-LT-14 seems to be largely a repetition of Vala-04.2 in the Valaquenta - specifically "she dwells alone," and "her halls are west of West, nigh to the borders of the World".

Edit: I somehow missed the discussion of VT-LT-14 on page 1, so my last comment can probably be ignored. However, I did want to address one other thing in VT-LT-13c which is the changing tenses in the paragraph. Here is what I would suggest if it is actually a problem:

Quote:
Thither came the sons of Men to hear their doom, and thither {are}[were] they brought by all the multitude of ills that {Melko}[Melkor]'s evil music set within the world. Slaughters and fires, hungers and mishaps, diseases and blows dealt in the dark, cruelty and bitter cold and anguish and their own folly {bring}[brought] them here; and {Fui}[Námo] {reads}[read] their hearts.

Last edited by Elvellon; 08-18-2023 at 06:06 PM.
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