I've got a bunch!
Scene: Moria
Gimli: “No... *sob* no...”
Sam: “Don’t cry, Master Gimli. I’m sure that Master Balin has gone to a better place.”
Gimli: “I’m not crying about that... it’s just that... Balin owed me money...” *sob*
Director: “CUT!!!”
Moria- Take 2
Gimli: “No... no...”
Pippin: “WHOA!!!!” *trips over a dwarf’s skull* “****!!!”
Director: -_- “cut....”
Moria- Take 3
Gimli: “No...” *sob* “no...”
Sam: “STOP CRYING, YOU ****ING DWARF!!! HE’S DEAD!!! GET OVER IT!!!”
Director: “Cut, cut, CUT!!!! Ow... migrane...”
Moria- Take 5973
Gimli: “OH **** IN A ****ING BUCKET!!! WHOEVER DID THIS, WILL FEEL THE WRAITH OF GIMLI, SON OF GROIN!!!!”
Cast: *snigger*
Gimli: “OH ****!!! I MEAN GOIN... FLOIN... GROIN... oops... GLOIN!!!”
Director: “...lets move on....”
Scene: Bag End, Gandalf throws the ring into Frodo’s fireplace
Frodo: “What are you doing???”
Gandalf: *takes it out from the fire with tongs, and holds it out to Frodo* “Hold out your hand, Frodo. It's quite cool.”
Frodo: “OWW!!!! WHY THE **** DID YOU DO THAT FOR??? *******!!! ****ING ISTAR!!! MY POOR ****ING HAND!!!!” *ring falls to the floor, which sets it on fire*
Gandalf & Frodo: “crap...”
Frodo: “Run like hell?”
Gandalf: “Yup!”
Gandalf & Frodo: *run like hell*
Director: “cut.... diffrent scene... please...”
Scene: Gandalf tells Frodo to take the ring, and go to Rivendell
Gandalf: “Frodo, use the Force and run! Run to Rivendell! Run to Rivendell!”
(Got that idea from a music video.)
Cast & Frodo: *snigger*
Director: Sea, you, tea! CUT!!!
Scene: Isengard, Pallantir room
Gandalf: “A palantir is a dangerous tool, Saruman.” *walking towards the palantir*
Saruman: “Why? Why should we fear to use it?” *Takes cover off palantir*
Gandalf: “They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing stones. You do not know who else may be watching.” *Puts the cover back onto the palantir*
Saruman: “The hour is later than you think. Sauron's forces are already moving. The nine have left Minas Morgul.”
Gandalf: *whispers* “The nine.”
Saruman: “They crossed the river Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as riders in black.”
Gandalf: “They've reached the Shire?”
Saruman: “They will find the ring, and kill the one that carries it.”
Gandalf: *whispers* “Frodo! Frodo!” *Makes for a door, but as he approaches it, it is closed. He makes for the other 3 doors, but each close as he heads for them*
Saruman: “You think that a stupid Halfling can contend with Sauron’s will? Then your love for the Halflings’ leaf has dulled your senses. Join me, join Sauron, assend to the Dark Side of the Force!”
Gandalf: “NEVER, YOU DOTARD!!!”
Director: -_-;; “cut...”
Scene: Gandalf meet up with Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas in Fangorn Forest
Gandalf: “Yes, I am Saruman, some...”
Gimli: “IT IS SARUMAN!!!! HE TOLD US SO!!! LET’S GET HIM!!!!” *Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas get ready to attack*
Gandalf: “FOOL OF A DWARF!!! IT’S ME, GANDALF, THARKUN, MITHRANDIR, INCANUS!!! WHICHEVER YOU WOULD PERFER TO USE!!! GIMLI, GLOIN’S SON, DON’T MAKE ME HARM YOU!!!”
Director: “CUT!!!!”
Gandalf: “INFLAMUS!!!” *fire is set to the director*
Director: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” *burns up*
Aragorn: “Great... now who’ll direct?”
Gimli: “We don’t need no stinkin’ director!”
~~~~~~
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