Thread: The Stewards
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Old 07-11-2018, 06:22 PM   #11
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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1) Thank you for the flowers, I am not sure they are warranted.

2) Okay.

3) Oaky we leave A Well-Planned Party out and if we are done with the discussion about the corresponding content we can decised about The Broken Bridge. I can see your reason and agree to use Sauron defeated at its original place. But nonetheless I think we need and replacement for it here in this chapter. As we have no good title I would add an editorial * * *.
I have no problem with the length of the chapter and therefore would keep Of the Finding of the Ring as sub heading.

4) Interisting, I thought that focus of the discussion would be exactly oposit, as the fist addition from the 1960 Hobbit I actually had to use part of the book in print to get a full text. Anyhow I am happy with that talk of Thorin about the Dwarves of Erebor finding acceptance.
Nonetheless I will break a lance for the inclusion of The Broken Bridge: I think we have done something very similar with material from The Quest of Erebor: First we have the description of the meeting and Discussion of Gandalf and Thorin and Gandalf’s visit to the shire and in the Blue Moutains for a second time, after that we have a short summary of Gandalf’s visit to Bilbo and the events at the afternoon. Then we get a broad retelling of the discussion between Gandalf and Thorin during the night, when Bilbo has gone to sleep. So we have detailed telling of events left out from The Hobbit mingled with short summary of events reported in that book.
The same would be true if we include The Broken Bridge. The corosponding passage to all that I added for this sub-chapter from The Hobbit reads:
Quote:
At first they had passed through hobbit-lands, a wild respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two, and now and then a dwarf or a farmer ambling by on business. Then they came to lands where people spoke strangely, and sang songs Bilbo had never heard before. Now they had gone on far into the Lone-lands, where there were no people left, no inns, and the roads grew steadily worse. Not far ahead were dreary hills, rising higher and higher, dark with trees. On some of them were old castles with an evil look, as if they had been built by wicked people. Everything seemed gloomy, for the weather that day had taken a nasty turn. Mostly it had been as good as May can be, even in merry tales, but now it was cold and wet. In the Lone-lands they had to camp when they could, but at least it had been dry. "To think it will soon be June," grumbled Bilbo as he splashed along behind the others in a very muddy track. It was after tea-time; it was pouring with rain, and had been all day; his hood was dripping into his eyes, his cloak was full of water; the pony was tired and stumbled on stones; the others were too grumpy to talk. "And I'm sure the rain has got into the dry clothes and into the food-bags," thought Bilbo. "Bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing!" It was not the last time that he wished that!
I can imagian that it could help to remove the personal view point of the story, so that it become less similar to the text of the book in print:
Quote:
… cross the great bridge over the Brandywine River and entered what Bilbo called the Outlands, where outlandish things might be expected at any turn.{ At last he felt that his Adventure had begun.}
But beyond the Bridge the road was still good ...
...
... well-known to the hobbits of the east side of the Shire.{ Bree was as far as Bilbo’s knowledge reached, even by hearsay.} Beyond {it}Bree the lands had been desolate for many long years. ... but it was grey now and rather sad.
{Bilbo’s spirit fell, and he said very, little, thinking always of the next stop for food, though meals came much more seldom (and more scanty) than he would have liked. }So they went on for many days, and each day they became more silent and wary; for there was a stillness all round them – as if the land was listening{ (so Bilbo thought to himself)}. TS-QE-34<The History of the Hobbit; Itinerary {by}By the evening of May 10th ...
It was at about this time that things took a bad turn. One morning cold wind from the east met them with a breath of far mountains, bringing low clouds and driving rain. {Bilbo shivered. ‘Not what I call June!’ he grumbled as he splashed along behind all the others in a deep muddy track that was fast becoming a stream. Poor hobbit, he was quite out of his reckoning; it was the nineteenth of May, but the three weeks on the road began to seem endless. ‘Bother adventures and everything to do with them!’ he thought. ‘I whish I was at home by the fire with the kettle just beginning to sing!’ It was not the last time that he wished that.
}The track climbed to the top of a ridge, …
With these passages removed we could consider that what we replace of The Hobbit is only.
Quote:
At first they had passed through hobbit-lands, a wild respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two, and now and then a dwarf or a farmer ambling by on business. Then they came to lands where people spoke strangely, and sang songs Bilbo had never heard before. Now they had gone on far into the Lone-lands, where there were no people left, no inns, and the roads grew steadily worse.
At least it shold be clear from this comparision, that this addition would be in line with the overall aim of the project, and the corallary to our rules:
Quote:
A corallary is that we may not disregard any text or note, old idea or projected change, by JRRT unless it is invalidated by one of the above principles, explicitly or implicitly; that is, we must have a REASON for rejecting something.
At least as I interpret them.

TS-QE-03: Agreed, so I would avoid the following us of ‘he’ because the reverence is not fully clear:
Quote:
TS-QE-03{
"I} He was very troubled at that time,{" he said, "}for Saruman was hindering all {my}his plans. {I}Gandalf knew that Sauron had arisen again …
TS-QE-05: Agreed, we remove them entirely.

Respectfully
Findegil
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