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Old 10-22-2003, 09:26 PM   #89
Kuruharan
Regal Dwarven Shade
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,685
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots

Earlier, as Kuruharan was slinking off and Vogonwë and Pimpi were "liberating" pieces of the Entish Bow, Chrysophylax was huddled in the Creature's Lounge feeling monumentally stupid and sorry for himself.

He tried to ignore the nearby Phoenix spontaneously combusting for the third time in the last half hour. That suddenly reminded him, he ordered his fortieth "Petrol-and-Tonic." After finishing that off he finally noticed that he had fallen out of his chair some time ago.

With the wonderful view of the exquisite ceiling to inspire him, marvelously executed with mating hell-beasts I might add, Chrysophylax let his mind wander over the last time profound and all-consuming lust had burned in his dragonish heart.

Boy, had that turned out badly! One minute she was flirting with him like there was no tomorrow, the next minute she was saying that she had to go to the other side of the continent to arrange transport for the dowry, the minute after that she was promising to send him love-letters by hell-bat every time she thought of him, the minute after that she flapped off into the distance, and for the next two weeks Chrysophylax had stood there looking pathetically up at the sky waiting for that first letter to be delivered.

Some rather unpleasant events followed afterward. "All consuming" are good words for Dragon Love because when it goes wrong large numbers of innocent villagers are apt to suffer mightily for it. But I digress.

Soon afterwards Chrysophylax met up with Kuruharan and...

Editor's note: The text mysteriously breaks off at this point. The original manuscript was shredded by large claws. The story resumes with the next legible fragment.

...an arrangement that was not dissimilar from joining the Grundorian Foreign Legion.

Ahh, memories. Chrysophylax's mind drifted further back. The awful consequences of failing to properly explain to one ex-girlfriend why he had another dragon's Cell-antir number. The scars from that encounter were still visible on his side.

More booze to drown that particular memory.

Further back in time. The awful humiliation of finally screwing up the courage to ask out a beautiful dragon-girl and having her laugh in his face saying something to the effect of "Eeeecckkk!!! You're soooo weird!!!" Tears started to pour down Chrysophylax's cheeks.

Another miserable memory, spending twenty agonizing years in the company of a mysterious chimeric beauty, but never having the courage to talk to her.

More booze.

Then the anger came. Anger over being constantly harassed by pathetic little lizards that he just couldn't think about without shuddering. Then there was the frustration about not realizing that the neighbor dragonette had been in love with him until she was killed by an itinerant hero. Then to top it all off, there was the everlasting fury of...

...his bottle being empty.

He hoisted himself to his feet and tried to figure out the way to the bar. After four wrong guesses he finally staggered into it.

"I think you've had enough," said the bartender.

"Whishted! Ouinvus euinbmbnx ytnsgnc!" snarled Chrysophylax.

"I'm sorry," said the bartender, "I didn't quite get that."

"Qoungou," moaned Chrysophylax, "toungs vmbxin regixmbod!" Having relieved himself of that particular observation, Chrysophylax hung his head and delivered a great platitude for the ages, "Womenshes, cansh livers ith umses, cansh livers ithouth umses!!!"

"Riiiight," said the dwarf.

"That shettllesh if!" cried Chrysophylax, slamming his claw down on the bar. "I'llsh beshpeeketh to herumses of myth abidering lovers orth I'llth killers meshelf trying!"

With that determination firmly resolved in his heart, Chrysophylax fell forward on the bar and passed out.

He did not revive until a great crashing resounded through the Ham Steep Resort & Casino.

[ October 23, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]
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