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Old 01-09-2004, 09:20 PM   #190
Ealasaide
Shadow of Tyrn Gorthad
 
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Sting

Benia

Benia had spent her entire life in hiding in some form or another and, part and parcel of this, involved keeping her emotions hidden from the world as well. Her mother had taught her ever since she could remember that in order to survive in the world, she would have to learn the secret of the veils. There were real veils, Benia's mother had explained, the ones that hid the Painted Sand women's faces from the world, but there were also the invisible veils, the ones that concealed their hearts. She had listened to her mother's words and, over the years, learned to hide her feelings behind layers of fine but invisible fabrics. Looking at Dulrain as he moved about setting up camp, Benia longed to rip the veils away from her heart and throw herself at his feet, to keep or discard her as he wished.

When she had first laid eyes on him in Bree, she had been struck by the kindness and the underlying courage in his grey eyes. She had felt a shock of recognition then, too, as though she had known him in another time, some other life, and was for the first time reunited with him in this one. Now she owed him her life. And, over the past five days that he had ridden in their company, she had come to another realization, as well. She had fallen in love with him.

Knowing that he was far too high above her socially even to hope for his returning her feelings, Benia had hidden away her love as best she could under the tenfold layers of veils and contented herself with befriending him and tending to his wound. She knew the cut to his side pained him greatly, and she admired the stoicism with which he handled the pain. She only wished she could do something to take away that pain, to heal him and bring him back to his full strength. But they would be in Rivendell soon. The elves would take care of him.

"If only there were something..." she murmured to herself. Then, noticing that he had grown pensive, stopping in his work, she moved in his direction.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her brow creased with worry. The last time she had changed the dressing on his wound, all had seemed well. Surely, it wasn't growing septic now.

Dulrain smiled at her. "No, nothing that should worry you, my lady. I apologize for causing you concern. Just a young ranger and his foolish musings." He looked deeply into her eyes and, for a fleeting instant, Benia nearly did throw all caution and decorum to the wind. She nearly did take his hands and place them against her heart, letting all the secrets that she concealed there pour forth, but at the last second she dropped her eyes. When her gaze fell on the tribal tattoos that marked her hands, she tensed and pulled the unseen veils closer around her. He could never love a foreigner like herself. Even if he could, she could only bring him grief... the way her mother, through no fault of her own, had ultimately brought her father to grief and an early grave.

Hiding her heart, Benia smiled gently as Dulrain raised her hands to his lips and kissed them. "Thank you," he whispered, releasing her hands as Gilly and Kaldir rejoined them.

Her emotions in a whirl, Benia barely heard it as Gilly broached the subject of sending a message to her husband back home in the Shire. Gilly was worried that Carl might think she had come to harm. Hardly knowing what she was saying, Benia offered a few words of comfort, that surely Carl would understand that Gilly would never have left her family on her own account. Thank you? The conversation continued on, and eventually both Kaldir and Dulrain rose and left the warmth of the fireside. Benia watched them go, still feeling the press of Dulrain's lips against her hands. The look in his eyes when he kissed her haunted her. Could it be possible?

She startled as Gilly touched her tightly clasped hands. "Is everything all right?" asked Gilly quietly. "Your hands are shaking. You haven't taken ill, have you?"

Benia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Then, she smiled at her friend. "I'm afraid I have just a little bit. It's probably just a touch of fatigue."

Gilly gave her a long, contemplative look, then nodded slowly. Gilly's expression told Benia that she had witnessed the exchange between her and Dulrain, and, if she did not know the full truth, she suspected it. Gilly patted Benia's hands. "Don't worry," she reassured her softly. "He will be fine. It will all work out in the end."

“Will it?” asked Benia sadly. She gestured in the direction of the two men. “Look at them. They know there are wolves about.”

******************************

Kaldir

"Do you love her?" asked Dulrain, his gaze lingering in the direction of Benia Nightshade and Mrs. Banks. A split second after the fact, he threw Kaldir a light-hearted, rather knowing grin, but the effort came too late. Kaldir had already seen the look in Dulrain's eyes. He frowned slightly and turned a thoughtful stare of his own in the direction of the two women.

Did he love her? It was a fair enough question, but Kaldir hesitated over whether to lie or to tell Dulrain the truth. The days when truth was instinctive lay long in the past. Over the last fifteen years he had gotten into such a habit of useful prevarication that the truth came out only with an effort. There was a saying they had in the deserts of Harad - he wondered if Benia knew it as well - that the truth is dangerous thing. One should be careful in doling it out, especially when it could expose a weakness. And now, with Naiore so near, was not the time to be exposing weaknesses. Even to Dulrain.

Kaldir did love Benia, at least so far as he was capable of it, but that knowledge would remain with him for the moment. It was not the time to speak of such things. He could sense that Naiore was very near. His sleep, when he got any, was tortured with dreams, and his waking mind had begun to fracture again. Naiore's voice threaded through his thoughts like a poison, keeping him ever on edge, his hatred of her at times being the only thing armoring him against her and the ever present past. Only the presence of his companions kept him from turning aside from the road and following her deadly voice to her lair. Whether he managed to kill her or she finally destroyed him no longer mattered to him. One must happen or the other. It was the only way in which his soul could find peace. If he managed to live, only then could he allow himself the luxury of pursuing Benia Nightshade. Only then would he have a chance at becoming whole.

He started to give Dulrain an evasive response, but the words died on his lips as the dry snap of a twig just beyond the bounds of their camp pierced the silence. Kaldir's body tensed, but he made no obvious movement in the direction of the sound. By the sharp expression that had come into Dulrain's eyes, Kaldir could tell that his brother had heard it, too.

"Our spy?" whispered Dulrain, scarcely moving his lips.

Kaldir nodded, his pale eyes narrowing. "Distract him," he whispered. "I'll catch him from behind." Then, he added in conversational tones for the benefit of the spy. "Have you got any more of that Longleaf left? I smoked the last of mine yesterday."

Picking up on the scam, Dulrain nodded. "In my pack. You'll find it back by the horses."

Kaldir thanked him and walked casually back in the direction of the horses. Dulrain watched him go, then, very deliberately began to pick up firewood, working slowly in the direction from which they had heard the snapping twig. At first there was silence, then a second, softer crunch of dead leaves. Dulrain continued in that direction, moving just quickly enough to keep the intruder preoccupied with him so that Kaldir would have time to move in from behind.

Kaldir passed the horses and entered the woods without a sound, his boots finding purchase only in the soft earth. Leaving the camp, he made a wide circle that arced back abruptly in the direction from which he and Dulrain had first heard the twig snap. Through the trees, he could see Dulrain casually picking up firewood as if he hadn't a care in the world. Motionlessly, Kaldir waited as his pale eyes scanned the woods between him and Dulrain for any sign of the intruder. It was a few moments before he saw him. The little rat had concealed himself well. He was nearly under Dulrain's very nose. Kaldir drew his dagger and, choosing each step carefully, closed the distance between them. He was very nearly upon him, when the intruder suddenly turned with a start and tried to scramble away. Kaldir shot out a hand and caught the hobbit tightly around the back of the neck. He placed the point of his dagger against the struggling hobbit's ribcage as Dulrain dropped the armload of sticks he had gathered and leaped forward, his own dagger in hand.

"A single sound and you will be a very dead hobbit," growled Kaldir, tightening his grip on the hobbit's neck.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 11:45 AM January 13, 2004: Message edited by: Ealasaide ]
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