What about this:
Quote:
But Felagund spoke ere he bade farewell:
'This I say to Celegorm the fell,
by the sight that is given me in this hour,
by neither thin nor any power
shall thy kin the Silmarils gain
before the End, all in vain
you swore. And this that we seek
shall lastly come indeed,
but never to your hands shall fall.
Nay, your oath shall devour all
sons of Fëanor, and to other care
Lúthien’s great bride-price bear.'
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Beside a rhyming on seek/indeed I changed "is your oath" to "you swore" because I found two times oath so short after one an other awkward. And I find that "Fëanor's sons" would be better "sons of Fëanor".
Respectfully
Findegil