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Old 05-10-2015, 04:49 PM   #13
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,407
Morthoron is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Morthoron is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Morthoron is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Morthoron is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Originally Posted by Faramir Jones View Post
I'm neither sad nor elated. I'm relieved that the mess of The Hobbit films is over, and am hoping that in the future, perhaps when I'm still around, others will make a better job of things.

At least I'm spared the bad fanfiction of Tauriel, and the 'romance' between her and Kili. I have to single out these three bits that made (and still make) me cringe:


Kili: Aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers.

Tauriel: Or nothing.


Kili: Tauriel...

Tauriel: Lie still.

Kili: You cannot be her. She is far away. She... she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream. Do you think she could have loved me?


Tauriel: [weeps for Kili] If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?

Thranduil: [sadly] Because it was real.

The delicate, sensitive flower that I am, I found the intrusion of fan-fiction Mary-Sue Tauriel to be appalling enough, but the whole ill-advised dwarf-elf love story was just so over-the-top (capped as it was by Thrandy's "Because it was real" line - perhaps one of the top ten worst lines in cinema history!) that I had to laugh. It was just so ridiculous!

And the cappers kept on coming, because then Thrandy told Legolas to go look for the Dunedain, Aragorn, who at that time was, what, 10 or 11 years-old? Yes, Elrond needs a babysitter when he goes out on Saturday night.
And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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