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Old 11-09-2017, 09:10 PM   #45
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,139
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
c) I think 'Araman and Avathar' is right. 'Aman' doesn't really work because I don't think it's meant to be implied that they cleared rocks out of the whole continent, just out of the regions east of the Pelori.
d) Like gondowe and ArcusCalion, I would go with 'Avathar' here. Mists aren't necessarily cold, and the far south is not necessarily warm.
e) I agree that it must be Taniquetil and the neighbouring mountains that are referred to. Since the point of view of this sentence is from the north, it makes sense to describe those mountains as 'nigh Avathar' - i.e. down south. So I agree on 'Avathar'.
j) If Taniquetil is on the southern side of the Bay of Eldamar, I think we can edit this a little less obtrusively: 'looking across {Arvalin}[Avathar] half south and half north across that mighty Bay of Faery'.
l) Since 'twixt Erumani and the sea' refers to Valinor, we could change it to 'twixt the Pelori and the sea' or even just 'twixt the mountains and the sea'. However, 'twixt Araman and the sea' seems fine as well.

Otherwise, I agree with Findegil's suggestions.
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